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September 15, 2021


Why are Yellowstone wolves biting grizzly bears' butts?

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)


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Well, SOMEBODY's got to.

Linda Veress told FTW Outdoors that biologists have observed this behavior and believe it's associated with competition for food or defense of a pack's territory.

Oh yeah?

So, later that day this was discovered near the entrance to the park indicating one meth-crazed wolf gang member had 'marked' his wolf pack's territory. A grizzly reported the unsightly message to the park's graffiti removal patrol. A guy with a truck full of cans of various colored paint and rollers was expected to cover over the 'threatening' reminder to all grizzlies to, "get the *expletive* off the wolves territory."

< rim shot >

Dave will be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitstaff.

Wolves were reintroduced into Yellowstone Park in the 1990's after a 70 year period of no wolves. The wolves behavior of biting grizzly bears butts could explain the 70 year absence of wolves in Yellowstone and give scientists a clue why there were no wolves there for 70 years.

Do you know a better way to quit smoking ?

Obviously, the bear didn't pass the sniff test.

To the tune of .. well, you know ..

♫ Why do wolves bite grizzly butts?
grizzly butts .. grizzly butts ♫
Why do wolves bit grizzly butts?
tra la la la la ♫

Well, this may help explain why the bear went over the mountain.

Could it be that Yellowstone wolves are just terrible dancers?

Reminds me of this old country song that Tammy Faithless sang in the 60s.

While we're here just guzzlin' suds
Wolves are out bitin' grizzlies' butts
We're a sorry bunch of duds
But wolves are out and out nuts.

I don't think this song got much play out of the Ozarks.

Postal carriers in the area have also reported persistent wolf butt-bites.

Nothing bites grizzlies on the other end.

Just doing my part to help those confused researchers.

To a wolf a bear growl sounds like "bite my butt" in wolf tongue, so the wolves are like "if that's what you want".

Why are wolves biting bears butts?
Because they can.

Nothing says lov'n
like bite marks on your bottom.

For the last time, where's the pic-a-nic basket?!

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