« August 2021 | Main

September 17, 2021

IN THAT CASE, SIR, PLEASE RESUME FIRING

Kentucky man shoots out of hotel window, says he was aiming at aliens

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'COREGASMS'

10 per cent of gym goers have had an orgasm while exercising, study finds

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Please wipe down the equipment when you are finished.")

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR HEART

Stonington police warn residents of aggressive minks

(Thanks to pharmaross)

A PAIR OF FLORIDA LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY

Indiana State Police say a drunk husband crashed his car into a tractor trailer not far from his house. When his allegedly drunk wife went to pick him up, she crashed her car into his wrecked vehicle that was still on the road.

(Thanks to Jillian)

WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS

Astronaut blood can be used to make concrete on Mars, scientists say

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE LIKE 'COME AND TASTE TE PUKE'

The hunt for New Zealand's worst-ever city slogan is nearing its end, and it's looking like Hutt Valley is the town to beat.

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

'EXCITING ECOLOGICAL OPTION'

Body composting a ‘green’ alternative to burial, cremation

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

THAT WOULD BE FLORIDA

Objects at the Solar System’s Edge Are Being Influenced by Something Mysterious

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

September 16, 2021

THERE ARE JOB ACTIONS...

...and then there are job actions.

(Thanks to Geoff Scott)

*SO* MANY USES

2:30 p.m. A transient man said he had a dead badger in a sled that he was keeping because it has “multiple uses.” He said he would be moving along shortly and taking the badger with him.

You know the county.

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

IF HE'D BEEN GOING FASTER HE MIGHT HAVE MADE IT

13 foot RV attempts to cross under 9’9” train trestle at Racine, Mo.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE'RE CONVINCED

Loch Ness Monster 'spotted on webcam in China' in latest reported sighting

(Thanks tp pharmaross)

FOLLOW THE SCIENCE, PEOPLE

What’s For Breakfast? Nutritionist Says Cold Pizza Is Better Than Sugary Cereal

(Thanks to Ralph)

YOU LAUGHED AT 'SHARKNADO'

But you're not laughing now.

(Thanks to EricY)

BRILLIANT

Dog invents automatic backscratcher.

(Thanks to man tom)

BUSINESS NEWS FROM DOWN UNDER

Some of Australia’s most high profile investors have jumped on board the Who Gives A Crap train as it raises capital for the first time, securing $41.5 million in the process.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

September 15, 2021

TO GET TO THE OTHER HIDE

Why are Yellowstone wolves biting grizzly bears' butts?

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

YET ANOTHER REASON TO AVOID THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA

Scientists Suspect Massive Unknown Predator at Bottom of the Sea Capable of Eating an Alligator

(Thanks to Rick Day)

AND IN SPORTS

Jerseyman attempts Guinness World Record by running marathon as a brain

Do click on the video.

(Thanks to Ralph)

YOU HAVE TO CATCH THE LITTLE BASTARDS BEFORE YOU CAN ASK THEM ANY QUESTIONS

Scottish charity asking for public's help with squirrel survey

(Thanks to Ralph and Le Petomane)

'SPEED-TOADING,' DUDE

Tourists Are Now Smoking Toad Venom in Mexico’s Hipster Town Tulum

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

September 14, 2021

CSI: FUKUOKA

Elderly man in Fukuoka Pref. city bitten in buttocks by monkey, 18th case since Aug.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Vegan Men Fart Seven Times More Than Non-Vegans, Study Finds

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

PENGUINS FROM SPACE

The strange revelation came after traces of a chemical known as phosphine were found in the bird’s poo.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS IS WHY WE NEED THE DEATH PENALTY

Bud Light rolls out pumpkin spice hard seltzer

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WITH A MOOLOO HERE, AND A MOOLOO THERE

Scientists potty train cows to use ‘MooLoo’

(Thanks to many people)

WE’LL JUST HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING

Experts admit there's no evidence the erogenous zone said to give women powerful orgasms actually exists

(Thanks to Roberto)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

 Lab-grown woolly mammoths could walk the Earth in six years if geneticist’s new start-up succeeds

(Thanks to Alkali Bill, The Perts and Jeff from Pittsburgh)

September 13, 2021

A REAL-LIFE HALLMARK MOVIE

It Took the Owner of Swanky Restroom Trailers Time to Find Her Happy Place, But It Was Sure Worth the Wait

PERHAPS IT WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM TOM CRUISE

Runaway cow stops rush hour traffic on motorway

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

FINAL ARCOLA BROOMCORN FESTIVAL AND PARADE UPDATE

Among the superstar entertainers on hand was Todd "The Tater" Fultz, who brought his legendary Rockin' Tater Show. Here we are posing with the legendary trailer.

Tater

Among the superstar celebrities marching with the World Famous Lawn Rangers was the legendary Captain America, posing here between us and our legendary cousin-in-law and fellow Ranger Ron "Mow-Ron" Ungerman.

Rangers

The refreshing beverages Ranger Ungerman and I are holding are the legendary "Spotted Cow" brand.

WELL IT WAS A LARGE SPIDER

Woman screamed so loud at spider that five police officers turned up on her doorstep

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN CRICKET

Dog retrieves ball during Women's All-Ireland T20 Cup semi-final

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

A SCORNED wife raided her ex-husband's cryogenics lab and stole the frozen brains of people who hoped to be brought back to life.

(Thanks to Ranald Adams, Bill Hudgins, Le Petomane and Barry Nester)

THE SQUIRRELS ARE LIKE, 'AMATEURS'

Bobcat attacks Ring doorbell at Georgia home as opossum watches

(Thanks to Ralph)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Tom Cruise parachutes into field of cows which 'topple over in confusion'

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

September 12, 2021

OUR POLICY IS NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT

A Once-In-A-Century Solar Superstorm That Could Shut Down The World’s Internet Might Be Coming Sooner Than You Think

(Thanks to The Perts)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR CHUMBAWAMBA

Stowaway gecko takes 4,000-mile trip in traveler's bra

(Thanks to Michael Parry and Ralph)

ANOTHER VICTIM OF NEW ORLEANS NIGHTLIFE

There’s a big dead alligator sticking out of a pink dumpster on Perrier Street

(Thanks to Ralph)

TO GET TO THE OTHER FRIED

Police caught a chicken strutting outside a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in Midland, Mich. Friday morning.

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert, who says "Undercooked poultry can be dangerous.")

September 11, 2021

UPDATE FROM THE ARCOLA BROOMCORN FESTIVAL AND PARADE

We're on location in the Midwest, where there is a great deal of agriculture.

Corn

But there is also industry. At least we think that's what this is.

Sukup

The real reason we're here, though is to march with the World Famous Lawn Rangers precision lawnmower and broom marching unit. Here we are enjoying a refreshing post-parade beverage with our precision lawnmower, EMBEDDED REPORTER. Next to us is a mower representing the Sharknado theme.

Mowers

Many celebrities are here in Arcola, including the original cast of Ghostbusters.

Ghostbusters

9/11

Twenty years.

We've been through a lot since then, but that awful day will always be part of us. Today we remember, and we honor the memory of those we lost. Among them were the passengers and crew of United Flight 93; here's an essay I wrote about them, and their final resting place in a field in rural Pennsylvania.

And here's a song for all of us.

September 10, 2021

THE SITUATION IN CANADA

It's even worse than we thought.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SILVER LINING

Beached Rat Carcasses Indicate Mass Rodent Death During Ida, Experts Say

(Thanks to wiredog, who says "Vermin Depopulation Event would be an excellent name for a punk band.")

WHEREAS THE OLD ONE DID THIS ON PURPOSE

The new Roomba uses AI to avoid smearing dog poop all over your house

(Thanks to The Perts)

September 09, 2021

YES

Couple hailed 'iconic' for using 'beer boy' instead of flower girl in wedding

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN SPORTS

Steinholding.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHERE THE HELL IS THE UNITED NATIONS?

NSW Health limits residents of locked-down tower block to six beers per day

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

GOT A SNAKE IN YOUR SCOOTER?

Here's what you do.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT 'YOWIES' ARE, BUT SINCE THIS IS AUSTRALIA WE CAN SAFELY ASSUME THEY'RE VENOMOUS

Yowie hunter Jason Heal claims he has proof yowies exist in Perth bushland

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w, who claim they saw them open for the Yardbirds.)

 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise