BOLO III
Sculpture of Humpty Dumpty on a toilet stolen in Wisconsin
(Thanks to Patrick Lenon and pharmaross)
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September 30, 2021
CELEBRITY LIFESTYLE UPDATE
Shakira: Singer attacked by a pair of wild boars
(Thanks to wiredog)
OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A PERFECT MEAL
Garbage Truck Drags Outdoor Dining Shed With Diners Inside
(Thanks to Ralph)
IN FACT IT'S FROM GIANT SQUIDS
Seawater is salty not 'because of sperm from blue whales'
(Thanks to Ralph)
MISSING GUYS IN ACTION
'Missing' Drunk Man Spent Hours Helping a Search Party Look for Himself
(Thanks to many people)
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
The World Champion Outhouse Races are coming.
(Thanks to Craig Magee)
WHY YOU NEED A TRASH CAN IN FLORIDA
(Thanks to many people)
BOLO II
Police asking for tips in theft of 'Big Wein' in Cheboygan
(Thanks to pharmaross)
(YOUR WASHINGTON JOKE HERE)
Clown shortage: Appeal for new recruits in Northern Ireland
(Thanks to Jim Perth)
SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT
BOLO
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
September 29, 2021
WE SAW EFWD OPEN FOR ELO
Eels filled with drugs after Glastonbury Festival-goers use rivers as toilets
(Thanks to Barry Nester)
DO THEY NEED A DRIVER?
Oscar Mayer offers NASA a Wienermobile to transport moon astronauts
(Thanks to pharmaross)
AND IN CRICKET
Arshdeep Singh’s Throw Hits Saurabh Tiwary In His Crotch
(Thanks to pharmaross)
APPROPRIATELY ENOUGH, THE TRUCK IS A CHEVROLET AVALANCHE
Squirrel Hides Gallons of Nuts in North Dakota Man's Truck
(Thanks to Doug in Sacramento)
ANYBODY REMEMBER '2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY?'
Researchers Record Wild Chimp Using Human-Made Object As Sex Toy For First Time
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
'POLICE WERE EVERYWHERE'
Officers raid 'drug house' to find two centrally-heated guinea pigs
(Thanks to Ralph)
September 28, 2021
YES
Is 'Copacabana' the worst? 'Sugar, Sugar'? 'Muskrat Love' spotlights songs 'we hate to love'
Ahem: Granger was inspired to write and arrange the musical — originally planned pre-pandemic — by the 1997 “Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs”
(Thanks to pharmaross)
AND IN SPORTS
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
PROBABLY BETTER THAN AN 'INSTALLATION'
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' DAY
But for the record, it's National Drink Beer Day.
Which is followed by National Drink Beer Month.
(Thanks to pharmaross)
WHERE TO GO ON HALLOWEEN
(Thanks to wiredog)
ONE BEETLE DID THIS?
Beetle Proves It's Possible To Survive Millions Of Years Without Having Sex
(Thanks to The Perts)
'MYSTERIOUSLY' IS CODE FOR 'ACTING ON ORDERS FROM THE SQUIRRELS'
Otters are mysteriously attacking people and dogs in Alaska's largest city
(Thanks to wiredog)
AUTOMOTIVE ACCESSORY OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Customer Finds Naked Woman In Jeep For Sale
(Thanks to pharmaross and gameier)
MIAMI POLITICAL UPDATE
IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICERS?
Man found asleep in pile of stolen chicken fingers, meth
(Thanks to DaninDallas and Christopher Shelley)
GONE FISHIN', DUDE
Two fishermen find 5lb bales of marijuana hours apart in Florida keys
(Thanks to pharmaross)
AT LEAST IT WASN'T A SNAKE
Australian raven attacks drone delivering coffee in Canberra.
(Thanks to Nancy Gill)
September 27, 2021
SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT
‘Shaman’ charged with starting California wildfire after allegedly boiling bear urine
(Thanks to Chris Elzi)
WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE BE SURPRISED?
‘Got the surprise of his life’: Queensland worker spots brown snake while sitting on toilet
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
To clarify: The worker, not the snake, was sitting on the toilet.
THAT'S A LOT OF BAHT
Phuket man finds 30 million baht surprise “whale poop” on beach
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT, DUDE
The World’s First Plane Made From And Powered By HEMP
(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert, who says "No mention of how high it gets.")
THE PLUMBER CHARGED $238 MILLION FOR THE HOUSECALL
An alarm went off on SpaceX's all-tourist space flight. The problem was the toilet
(Thanks to Barry Nester and EricY, who says "To boldly go... maybe not.")
APPARENTLY THE FUTURE IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE A BAD FAKE PHOTO OF THE FUTURE
'Time traveller' claims to have photo evidence of what the future will look like
(Thanks to pharmaross)
2,000 FLORIDA LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY
Seattle driving school instructor sold fake passing grades to at least 2,000 people
(Thanks to pharmaross)
September 26, 2021
NO
Is Steeping Your Balls the Future of Male Birth Control?
(Thanks to Ralph)
REMINDS US OF LASSIE
Caiman Islands snorkeler follows squid to man's lost wedding ring
(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says “The snorkeler said that was a good squid and the fried calamari was excellent.”)
IT’S CALLED RECYCLING
A gravestone missing for almost 150 years was being used as a marble slab to make fudge
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko and The Perts)
OTHER THAN THAT. A TOTALLY PROFESSIONAL OPERATION
Ohio haunted house actor accidentally stabbed boy, 11, in foot
(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says “The kid was lucky the actor couldn't get his chainsaw started.”)
September 25, 2021
YOUR FLYING CAR?
(Thanks to Michael Johnson)
THEY ALSO LOVED TO PLAY FETCH
Dinosaurs wagged their tails while running, simulations reveal
(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)
PLEASE CANCEL OUR RESERVATION
No, Portales motel doesn’t have meth on tap
(Thanks to Alkali Bill)
LOOKS LEGIT
A GIANT LEAP
They're sending up William Shatner.
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
September 24, 2021
ADVISORY TO FLORIDA GARDENERS:
'I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS A NATURAL ACT'
Gorillas shock onlookers with oral sex show at Bronx Zoo in hilarious video
(Thanks to pharmaross)
WE'RE GONNA PASS ON THE ENGINEERS' BARBECUE
Engineers figured out how to cook 3D-printed chicken with lasers
(Thanks to Ranald Adams)
SHARE THEIR PASSWORDS?
What vampire bats do for their closest friends
(Thanks to The Perts)