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September 19, 2021

GOOD LUCK, ME HEARTY

This Guy Running For Canadian Parliament Wants Men Not to Ejaculate

(Thanks to Unholy Slackarrrrr)

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He would never get elected in Idaho!

DON'T use this alternative!!!

His funeral dirge...AARRRRR!

His campaign is a shot in the dark effort.

I don't think you have to be an expert on the respiratory tract to know that it in no way connects to the reproductive system. So, if you notice your testicles are bulging out when you exhale, you may want to call 911 because someone has reconnected your innards without your knowledge.

Blimey & blow me down, I suspect he be using the hempen halter and dancing with Jack Ketch when he hollers fire-in-the-hole as his seamen let loose and not another landlubber in sight. As the Cap'm be fond o'saying, Blow the man down!, Uranus be not the kind o'booty we be seekin'.

O cum all ye faithful,
Joyful and triumphant.....

Someone paid too much attention to Seinfeld...

Perhaps he be seeking the title of "Master of His Dominion".

A'whore ther matey!

Makes an o' salty seadog wanna drop anchor & take a Kraken o' her booty on the poop deck at full rammin' speed, iykwim.

Me be goin' topside but ye wench has a sunken chest. Aye me buckos, me spied her knockin' barnacles off o' few bilge pumps & taking it in the aft. Me wuz left wit' some thundris clap & me ain't talkin' hand slappin'.

Me needs t' take o' cutlass clipper to 'er crow's nest to find'er squiffy t' pillage & plunder.

Aye me hearties! Time t' be goin' broadside wit'a few hoe, hoe, hoes & pound some Red Eye as me deck getz swabbed by lasses with big patches & scabbards ov'r ther loins.

Goin' t' pull the belayin' pin in me britches & hoist me yardarm as me getz swashbuckled by Red Snapper Sally.

He's a disciple of General Ripper from Dr. Strangelove.

Precious Bodily Fluids!

If Canada has a First Amendment, this should get them to rescind it!

Cap'n. We foun' dis grog gaggled wench in t' infirm'ry talkin' mut'nee on yer Bounty.

Should we take 'er to port and show 'er our docs?

This is not the way to get a rating of Able-bodied Semen.

Remember? "Kidd's ship, the Adventure Galley sailed down the Thames, Captain William Kidd unaccountably failed to salute a Navy yacht at Greenwich, as custom dictated. The Navy yacht then fired a shot to make him show respect, and Kidd's crew responded with an astounding display of impudence – by turning and slapping their backsides in disrespect". Well, you scurvy dogs have escaped me clutches for another year, but I swear on the grave of Captain Kidd & Davy Jones that next year by this time I'll have your drawn & quartered bits reattached by the worst cobbler I can find and you'll all be hanging in gibbets in Wapping, at the mouth of the mighty Plym, or my name isn't John "Uranus Be Your Bunghole" Byng, Commodore, Her Magesty's Royal Navy, (and soon to be your new rear admiral)

Puts a whole new light on the phrase, "He's a keeper."

As my friends back in the UK would say:

Wot a wanker!

If this schmo is successful, won't it eventually eliminate any new members (ahem!.

Don't pull your pud.

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