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September 29, 2021


Researchers Record Wild Chimp Using Human-Made Object As Sex Toy For First Time

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)


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Why is it always the first time for those guys? It's like hey, you wanna buy my sister? She's only been a virgin 37 times.

One thing the chimp learned was don't ever, ever use a herbacide bottle as a sex toy.

If that herbicide bottle was a Roundup weed killer container, the chimpanzee may qualify for a class action penis lymphoma settlement. Have the Park Ranger call a personal injury attorney a.s.a.p. as filing deadlines are rapidly approaching.

(That is NOT the methodology in which I was exposed to Roundup toxins... just sayin')

I can hardly remember 2001.

Meanwhile, realizing it had been stolen, trying to locate his missing herbicide bottle.

Monkey see, monkey do.

How do you think baby monkeys come about?

To paraphrase Henny Youngman, "That's no chimp. That's my husband."

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