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August 02, 2021

AND IN SPORTS

Gardner Minshew Is Refusing To Poop Before His QB Battle With Trevor Lawrence

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BECAUSE YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH TO BE ALARMED ABOUT

Two red things are hiding in a part of the solar system where they shouldn’t be.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

6:53 p.m. Dogs were heard barking on a butt dial.

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

UPDATE: 5:14 p.m. A suspicious male taking photos in the bathroom was just “taking pictures of the tile to capture the face of God.”

(Thanks to Roberto and Mary Smith) 

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A FAIRYTALE WEDDING

Groom allegedly shoots friend after wedding because he suspected affair with wife

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ATTRACTED BY THE SCENT OF HAMBURGERS

Hundreds of Sharks Are Swarming People’s Backyards Because of a Toxic ‘Red Tide’

(Thanks to Rick Day)

THIS SHOULD VASTLY IMPROVE OUR UNDERSTANDING OF CONGRESS

Chinese scientists hope to unlock secrets of human brain with high-res image from a monkey

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

IT ORDERED THE SALMON

A bear ran into a Gatlinburg restaurant Friday afternoon, according to visitors who witnessed the incident.

(Thanks to John Wheat, who says "Bartender says, 'You want to watch the Cubs?'”)

 
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