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July 26, 2021

ALWAYS CONSULT THE TIDE TABLES BEFORE DRIVING AT NIGHT

Tesla's Full Self-Driving Feature Mistakes Moon For Yellow Traffic Light

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, who says "This is probably a good thing.")

DO NOT MESS WITH MOM

Mother makes roadblock to force drivers to stop at her children's lemonade stand

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THIS WILL ACTUALLY IMPROVE THE OVERALL BQE EXPERIENCE

The BQE Is Covered In Peppers Following Major Crash

(Thanks to Ashe Scheiner)

THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO CONVICT HIM

Michelangelo's fingerprint possibly found on butt of wax statue

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

‘CHASE YOUR DREAMS’

The Flagler County Sheriff's Office said a strange vessel washed ashore on Saturday morning. It turned out to be a Central Florida man who was ‘walking on water’ for charity. 

(Thanks to Dave N.)

July 25, 2021

'DON'T MESS WITH US'

A group of Gisborne "hero nannies" sprang into action, wielding chairs, handbags and kicking over tables, to fight off two wannabe thieves who tried to rob them of $700 during their bingo night.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

HENCE THE NAME

In-flight lightning strike grounds 2 F-35B Lightning II jets

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Couple's anniversary dinner interrupted when nudist cruise pulls up beside them

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

Note that this blog is not making note of the name of the male member (Hah!) of the couple.

'I DON'T KNOW IF HE WAS PRETENDING TO BE A BADASS OR SOMETHING'

O'Riley's Uptown Tavern customer accidentally shoots himself while showing off gun

Guess the state.

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

SOMEBODY'S GONNA LOSE HIS SMARTPHONE PRIVILEGES

14-Year-Old Forced to Do House Chores Reports His Father to Police for “Illegal Child Labor”

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Ministers have privately pointed to evidence that Covid could be spread by people breaking wind in confined spaces such as lavatories.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

WHO SAYS NEBRASKA ISN'T EXCITING?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "There will be some sore winners.")

July 24, 2021

PROBABLY NOT WHAT THEY HAD IN MIND WHEN THEY DECIDED TO BECOME FIREFIGHTERS

Fire crews called to Huddersfield Royal Infirmary to cut metal ring off man's penis

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

California man busted in stolen porta-potty truck

(Thanks to Ralph)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

6:19 p.m. Someone’s dog threw up.

(Thanks to pharmaross and Mary Smith)

IS THAT BAD?

Woman Completely Filled Her Car's Engine With Water

Advisory: Certain words.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

TRAVELING TO VIETNAM?

Keep an eye on the kids,

(Thanks to John Lobert)

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

How Trying to Secretly Fart Landed Me In The Hospital

THIS BLOG’S BRAIN MUST BE THE SIZE OF A PRUNE PIT

Too much coffee can cause your brain to shrink

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says “Yet another study says beer will increase your intelligence, which we know to be true: Who doesn't feel smarter after a few beers?”)

July 23, 2021

THEY WERE RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING GIANT, BUT VALID, FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

US border agents seize 15 giant snails

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says "They didn't get far on foot.")

NO S**T, SIR

Driver tells cops: ‘Man I’m drunk’ after falling asleep in Taco Bell drive-thru

(Thanks to Geoff Scott)

PUBLISHING AN OPINION ESSAY?

Be sure you proofread the headline.

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Sometimes I get chafed on my Schwinn.")

SEND THIS RAT TO WASHINGTON

Watch the moment a rat disturbs parliament in Andalucia

(Thanks to Jay Brandes and Ralph)

NO DOUBT FOR A PARTY AT CHUCK E. CHEESE’S

Maine drug agents seize cocaine disguised as cake

(Thanks to pharmaross)

STILL NO FLYING CAR, BUT…

This Golden Bathtub Rolls Itself Onto The Balcony

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AND IN SPORTS

Large man makes a nice block on Ripple the dog.

(Thanks to Gary)

July 22, 2021

THATS A LOAD OFF THIS BLOG'S MIND

Bats in Tel Aviv enjoy a rich variety of food

(Thanks to Ralph)

'THE SNAKE IS NOT MINE'

A Kwekwe man who was found in possession of a snake in his vehicle, bringing business to a standstill in the city centre on Tuesday, has denied any connection to the reptile.

(Thanks to Ralph)

SOUNDS PAINFUL

WV Fire Marshal’s Office investigating after 1 injured in Beaver explosion

(Thanks to John Lobert)

SEEMS LEGIT

'Time traveller' bizarrely claims he's stuck in 2027 and warns of human extinction

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THEREBY QUALIFYING FOR A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

'Talking dog' says hello in English accent

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says he is not making fun of the dog's name)

HEY, THIS BLOG WILL TAKE IT

Shop tells customers to stop paying with ‘sweaty’ cash stored in bras during heatwave

(Thanks to John Lobert and Jim Kenaston)

WE SAW THE KAYAKER-PUNCHING SHRIMP OPEN FOR DEVO

Watch What Happens When A Mantis Shrimp, Which Has One Of The Most Powerful Punches In The World, Punches A Kayaker

(Thanks to Mac)

‘HELLO, DAD? ABOUT THE CAR….’

Teenage Driver Receives Citation After Car Ends Up in Lakewood Swimming Pool

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

July 21, 2021

OUR HEART ACHES FOR HIM

Man ‘stuck’ with 10,000 #FreeBrittany t-shirts after trying to make money from Britney Spears case

(Thanks to Dave N.)

LOOKS LEGIT, BUT TO BE ABSOLUTELY SURE WE'D NEED TO SEE ITS FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Man claims to have filmed Bigfoot carrying a baby sasquatch across a river

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'A HOE IS A GARDENING TOOL'

Facebook snafu spells trouble for gardening group

(Thanks to pharmaross)

YOU'RE NOT SAFE ANYWHERE, DUDE

A cannabis farm was discovered inside a Cardiff home by accident when a car crashed through the wall.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

HE STOLE A SCOOTER

Brooklyn man arrested for robbing 7-year-old

(Thanks to ImNotDave)

WE’VE SEEN THIS MOVIE, AND IT DOESN’T GO WELL

15,000-year-old viruses discovered in Tibetan glacier ice

(Thanks to Ralph and wiredog)

FESTIVE

Designer creates wedding dress made entirely from dumped face-masks as restrictions are lifted

Ew.

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who says “What every bride wants.”)

AND IN SPORTS

Woman runs away from partner's proposal with packed out stadium watching on

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

ON I-95 THIS IS ACTUALLY AN IMPROVEMENT

Dump truck crash spills cow poop onto Florida highway

(Thanks to Bob Brogan and Ralph)

July 20, 2021

LONG ISLAND: THE LAST FRONTIER

Runaway bull shuts down Long Island highway, still on the loose

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

AND THIS IS BAD BECAUSE...

Taco Bell is facing a food shortage

(Thanks to Static Joeage)

APPARENTLY THEY DON'T HAVE TINDER

Terrifying video shows ‘tornadoes’ of sex-starved mosquitoes blotting out the sun as millions of insects hunt mate

(Thanks to Michael Parry, who says "I saw SSM open for Sex Pistols.")

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE BILL OF RIGHTS

Florida man banned from playing tuba on beach

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CSI: SANDWICH

Boy Ding Dong Ditches Girl's Home, Leaves Cheese

(Thanks to Ralph)

DIDN'T THEY DO 'DON'T FEAR THE REAPER?'

Tokyo Olympics: 'Plague of oysters' threatens key venue

(Thanks to Ralph)

A SERVICE CHARGE WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY ADDED

GRAZING COW CASUALLY PEES ON RESTAURANT’S DINING PATIO

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "You know who put the cow up to it.")

 
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