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July 20, 2021


Boy Ding Dong Ditches Girl's Home, Leaves Cheese

(Thanks to Ralph)


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Some headline writers are just bored. Others are hoping for the kind of inspiration that led a NY Post writer to come up with the classic "Headless Body in Topless Bar."

It's hard relocating from Wisconsin to Cape Cod for the summer. The girls back home would respond well to cheese left on the porch. Out there, it earns you a talking-to.

So by sandwich boy, do they mean he works at a sandwich shop or that he walks around wearing one of those sandwich board advertising placards? Either way he's still a cheesy ding-dong, who'll end up digging ditchs.

Headless torso found in "LEGS-UP" a topless bar featuring bottomless pitchers of beer?

I suppose the quality of the cheese should determine how the girl reacts. If he left a fine wheel of Camembert, she might want to pursue a relationship. If he left a block of cheddar, she should probably forget the whole thing. If he left a block of Velveeta, a restraining order may be in order.

The police need to really grill him about the Sandwich cheese.

Alternative headline:
"Dingy boy rings bell, cuts cheese and runs away."

At least ding dong boy didn't ring the bell, cut the cheese and run away.

Le Petomane needs another cup of coffee....

There was an old SNL skit, where famous inventors were at an English party in the 1700’s. As they entered, they were announced to the crowd: “The Earl of Sandwich!” and everyone raved about their eponymous inventions. I don’t remember much else about it, but Buck Henry was “Lord Douchebag”.

Stixnstone’s SNL clip:


Would he be the son of the "Ding Dong Daddy From Dumas"?

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