CSI: SANDWICH
Boy Ding Dong Ditches Girl's Home, Leaves Cheese
(Thanks to Ralph)
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July 20, 2021
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Some headline writers are just bored. Others are hoping for the kind of inspiration that led a NY Post writer to come up with the classic "Headless Body in Topless Bar."
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 20, 2021 at 10:12 AM
It's hard relocating from Wisconsin to Cape Cod for the summer. The girls back home would respond well to cheese left on the porch. Out there, it earns you a talking-to.
Posted by: ripleysparrow | July 20, 2021 at 10:17 AM
So by sandwich boy, do they mean he works at a sandwich shop or that he walks around wearing one of those sandwich board advertising placards? Either way he's still a cheesy ding-dong, who'll end up digging ditchs.
Posted by: cfjk | July 20, 2021 at 10:54 AM
Headless torso found in "LEGS-UP" a topless bar featuring bottomless pitchers of beer?
Posted by: cfjk | July 20, 2021 at 11:09 AM
I suppose the quality of the cheese should determine how the girl reacts. If he left a fine wheel of Camembert, she might want to pursue a relationship. If he left a block of cheddar, she should probably forget the whole thing. If he left a block of Velveeta, a restraining order may be in order.
Posted by: Math-Yoda | July 20, 2021 at 11:12 AM
The police need to really grill him about the Sandwich cheese.
Posted by: cfjk | July 20, 2021 at 11:15 AM
Alternative headline:
"Dingy boy rings bell, cuts cheese and runs away."
At least ding dong boy didn't ring the bell, cut the cheese and run away.
Posted by: Le Petomane | July 20, 2021 at 11:27 AM
Le Petomane needs another cup of coffee....
Posted by: Flathead County Frank | July 20, 2021 at 11:28 AM
There was an old SNL skit, where famous inventors were at an English party in the 1700’s. As they entered, they were announced to the crowd: “The Earl of Sandwich!” and everyone raved about their eponymous inventions. I don’t remember much else about it, but Buck Henry was “Lord Douchebag”.
Posted by: Stixnstonz | July 20, 2021 at 11:31 AM
Stixnstone’s SNL clip:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C6XF4RxU7xQ
Posted by: Math-Yoda | July 20, 2021 at 11:42 AM
Would he be the son of the "Ding Dong Daddy From Dumas"?
Posted by: pogo | July 20, 2021 at 01:54 PM
Best Headlines
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 20, 2021 at 02:10 PM