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June 09, 2021

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER RULER

A California nun will plead guilty to swindling over $800,000 from the Catholic elementary school she ran to help pay for her gambling trips, federal prosecutors said.

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert, who says "Gambling “habit”?)

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Shoddy reporting. The article omitted the answer to the most important question.

Did she win?

I'm envisioning The Penguin from The Blues Brothers.

A bad habit, but in her defense at least the money wasn't wasted.

She was giving to Caesar what was Caesar's. Or maybe it was Guido. Does the mob still run casinos?

She should have employed the "The devil's in the details" defense strategy, but perhaps the Pope will comp her.

Kinda refreshing to hear an embezzlement story after the decades of child molestations.

Someone (along with her sidekick) is going to Hell.

I can see a Gary Larson Far Side cartoon. A nun standing in front of the Pearly Gates with St. Peter and Satan greeting her.
St. Peter says; "Mary Margaret, let us welcome you to a most INTERESTING afterlife."

"Sister needs a new pair of shoes!"

^5 @ LeDud!

Reminds me of John Caldwell's "When Nuns Go Bad" in MAD Magazine #390:

* Prominently featured in Playboy's "Girls of the Novitiate" photo spread.
* Every Fourth of July it's the same thing: She shotguns a few cold ones at the church picnic, then tries to organize a wet habit contest.
* Third grade class spends the entire semester cranking out her line of sneakers.
* Mid-mass altar diving.
* Mother Superior by day, but after dark, Mistress Superior.
* Outwardly roots for Notre Dame, but actually took the three points and bet Oklahoma.
* Hospital volunteer work just an excuse to run a $5 a square "Last Rites" pool.
* Annual "missionary" work with Native Americans always seems to coincide with poor box shortages.

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