Dave Barry's Blog: SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

June 25, 2021

Pennsylvania police say exorcism was for dead trees

(Thanks to Le Petomane, pharmaross, Jeff Meyerson, Al Barkafski and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 25, 2021 at 10:14 AM | Permalink

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Somehow I was expecting that some woodchucks would have been mentioned in the story.

That's thing with carpentry projects, the Devil is always in the detailing.

Somehow, I believe this is related to the "Free the Beavers" movement and their penchant for yella wood.

They were trying to find a clean, straight 2x4.
Hence the use of satanic rituals.

Didn't they know the appropriate place for getting rid of demons was in the pest control aisle?

They were exorcising their rights. Or you could put it another way. Voiceless idiots.

They wound up at Home Depot because Ethan Allen has a zero-tolerance policy for exorcisms.

Posted by: ripleysparrow | June 25, 2021 at 12:16 PM

They drank too much spirits.

Did they use Holy Sap in the exorcism?

Posted by: Burt Macklin, FBI | June 25, 2021 at 12:49 PM

^5s to ed in texas and Rod N.

Can they do something about getting rid of low-flow toilets?

Posted by: wanderer2575 | June 25, 2021 at 03:16 PM

I often read posts on this websit, and I like them very much. Keep doing friday night funkin

Didn't they know the appropriate place for getting rid of demons was in the pest control aisle?

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