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June 26, 2021


UNE 25--In an unprovoked attack, a 7-Eleven customer was injured when a fellow patron threw a glass jar of Tostitos salsa at him with such force that the container broke on the victim’s back

(Thanks to pharmaross and Le Petomane)


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In his defense, he had left his glock in the car, so when he reached for a jar of 'guac instead, he was distracted and grabbed a jar of salsa by mistake.

Urgh! The headline is an example of one of my big pun peeves: an extra syllable. "Man Is Charged With A Salsa And Battery." Noble effort, but I woulda gone with "...a salsa'n' battery." Or even "...a salsa battery." Not perfect, but better.

Still, it's not as criminally egregious or as obviously solved as a headline I saw once about actor LeBouf, which said he wasn't "SHIA ABOUT" somethingsomething. 🤦

Considering his rap sheet, He won't be a civilian for very long.


He's also been arrested in the past for stealing a Choco Taco ice-cream bar from 7-11.
I could go for one of those right about now.

Thankfully, the perp didn't use a "battle burrito" as many of us here in the Southwest call gas station and convenience store bean burritos deep fried in a cauldron filled with some kind of boiling oil. If you can't whack someone silly with one of those, you wait until they eat it, then call it even.

A good salsa is never wasted like that dude did. In many Texas Counties wasting quality salsa of at least medium heat is a hanging offense.

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