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June 23, 2021

ATTENTION, PEOPLE PLANNING TO VISIT AUSTRALIA:

Be advised of this.

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National motto: "The snakes get whatever the crocs don't eat!"

Juat a heads-up, visit Australia at your own risk! (This message not approved by the Australian Tourist Bureau)

The moral: Never go on a blind date in Australia.

Here's the plan. My neighbor at the office and I share a common driveway. He is from New Zealand, M8. The other day I informed him a guy with a Mowhawk and a snake tattoo had been hanging around his property smoking meth. I said the guy looked dangerous and I was certain he had a swastika tattooed on his testicle. I reminded my New Zealand neighbor to be careful back there in the driveway and his parking lot.

He said, "'elisten 'ear, I've got a shot gun I have from when Ilived in Texas, I'll bring it over 'ear and take care this guy. I 'ave a right to defend me property!"

I actually said this, "Whoa, whoa...don't shoot anybody back her (resting my hand on his shoulder to comfort him). These guys aren't worth it. He seemed to calm down a little and stopped making the movements of a guy loading up his shotgun. Then He reminded me again, "I an't afraid of these people." I may have set him off when I mentioned the part about the tattooed testicle and the ridiculous looking Mowhawk.

So, if I ever go to Australia, I am inviting my neighbor. I'll probably mention He should bring his shotgun and we can get in a little hunting while we're there.

Note: Some of the locations of the tattoos were changed for dramatic effect.

As soon as they move Australia closer to North Carolina, I'll start thinking about visiting it.

It had to be said.

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