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May 07, 2021

CATCHY

Baby named as Ghlynnyl Hylhyr Yzzyghyl, nicknamed Consonant

(Thanks to Ralph)

GUESS WHERE THIS FAMILY LIVES

"He brought down over 30 snake skins out of the family's roof space, and there was probably another 20 skins up there."

(Thanks to Ralph)

INCREDIBLY, THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN AUSTRALIA

Snake Slithering on Door Handle Leaves Two Men Trapped Indoors

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT'S GOING TO NEED THERAPY

Stolen robot mower notifies owner of theft, location

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

ENJOY THE SHOW!

The manager of a Minnesota movie theater sold cocaine hidden in a bag of popcorn to a police informant, according to court records.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GROUNDS FOR EXCOMMUNICATION

Fresh pizza vending machine prompts curiosity and horror in Rome

(Thanks to Dave N. and Ralph)

CSI: WISCONSIN

Village of Hartland Police asks students to stop playing nude ‘Nerf Wars’

(Thanks to Ralph)

GOTTA MAKE A LIVING

Queen Elizabeth's Sandringham Estate is now selling beer

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

May 06, 2021

IT'S A RIOT AT WORM PARTIES

This Worm Has 100 Butts

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

GUYS IN DOMESTIC ACTION

Man who wasted two YEARS washing up is shocked to find he has a dishwasher hidden behind what he thought was a 'fake cupboard' in his flat

(Thanks to Howard from Broward)

ENOUGH ALREADY

'Tiger King' star Carole Baskin launches cat-themed crypto coin

(Thanks to pharmaross)

DON'T DO THE CRIME IF YOU CAN'T DO THE TIME

A Florida teen accused of rigging a homecoming queen election with her mother is being charged as an adult, prosecutors said.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'THEY COULDN'T AFFORD A SECOND LIFE PRESERVER'

New Zealand Man Found Clinging to Pool Noodle After Homemade Boat Sinks

(Thanks to Geoff Scott)

ALLELUIA

Public ball pits will reopen in August

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "A weary world rejoices, I think.")

THERE WAS NOTHING 'ACCIDENTAL' ABOUT IT

Boy, 4, accidentally buys $2.6K worth of SpongeBob Popsicles on Amazon

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

OTHER THAN THAT, A ROUTINE FLIGHT

Unoccupied plane takes off, flies 1.5 miles and crashes into Merrick County field

(Thanks to Steve Bradford, who asks "Did they check for squirrels?")

NO DOUBT SEEKING DIRECTIONS FROM FLATHEAD COUNTY TO FLORIDA

11:32 a.m. A pickup, possibly being driven by a dog with its head sticking out the driver’s side window, was weaving all over the road.

(Thanks to Roberto and pharmaross)

May 05, 2021

CONGRATULATIONS! IT'S A... BASEBALL TEAM!

Malian woman gives birth to 9 babies after expecting just 7

"Just."

(Thanks to Jane Linderman and Steve K.)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR CHUMBAWAMBA

Bizarre new trend to eat raw, ROTTEN meat to get high can cause ‘explosive incontinence’

(Thanks to Michael Moyer)

EMAIL TO THE BLOG

The American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR) has declared 2021 as the “Year of the Nakation Vacation.”

'WHAT BEER CANS, OFFICER?'

Beer cans fall out of truck during Cape DUI investigation

You know the state.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AUSTRALIA:

Even the moths are terrifying.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston and Rod Nunley)

APPARENTLY HE FORGOT TO TAKE HIS SURFBOARD

Hiker uses beach ball as a shield against a black bear in Alaskan wilderness

(Thanks to Barry nester, who says "Never leave home without one.")

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Larger noses equal larger penises, according to study

We wonder who paid for this study.

(Thanks to pharmaross and Peter Metrinko)

May 04, 2021

'E'S NOT TRAPPED, 'E'S RESTIN'*

Parrot Trapped On Roof Keeps Telling Fire Crew To 'F*** Off'

(Thanks to Rick Day)

*With apologies to Monty Python.

HE HAS OUR VOTE

A Photorealistic Image of George Washington If He Lived in the Present Day

(Thanks to John Lobert)

SO BASICALLY SPRING BREAK

Downtown Miami Appears To Be Destroyed In A New Movie Set In 2051

NEEDLESS TO SAY THE MEANS OF IDENTIFICATION WAS A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Mysterious, new tarantula-like spider identified in the Florida Everglades

(Thanks to vee)

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Belgian farmer accidentally moves French border

(Thanks to wiredog and Mitch Miller, both of whom point out that France, obviously, is on high alert.)

WE'D ELIMINATE THE LAST THREE WORDS

Japanese firm installs vending machine selling nothing but munchable insects

(Thanks to Ralph)

CANADA: A NATION WRACKED BY TERROR

Dead weasel in toilet leaves P.E.I. homeowners baffled

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

IF THAT DOESN'T PROVIDE RELIEF, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

This town used its $228K in COVID relief funds on a giant squid statue

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

MIAMI DINING REPORT

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Miami Dining Report.

PERFECT

A House Appropriations subcommittee hearing was delayed Monday when 22 minutes of audio from the movie Galaxy Quest played while members were speaking.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

IT'S ALMOST MOTHER'S DAY...

A museum of oddities is being forced to sell off some unusual items due to the impact of the pandemic with a dodo bone, a unicorn skull, and even Queen Victoria's knickers on sale to the highest bidder.

There is also this.

(Thanks to Ralph)

NOTHING TO SEE HERE, DUDES

Troopers find 426 pounds of marijuana inside ATMs, safe and totes in I-80 stop

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

May 03, 2021

WE HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS. THE GOOD NEWS IS, YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT MAKING THAT MORTGAGE PAYMENT.

NASA ASTEROID SIMULATION ENDS IN UNAVOIDABLE DISASTER FOR EARTH

(Thanks to EricY)

THEY KNEW ITS AGE BECAUSE IT HAD A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

240-pound fish, age 100, caught in Detroit River

(Thanks to Nancy [Wait for it........] Gill, who notes that "Fittingly, it was caught while being tracked by a biologist named “Fischer".)

WE PREFER NOT TO KNOW

Inside a sex doll factory: ‘What our quality control team does’

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THAT’LL GET THE OLD TICKER TOCKING

‘Certainly life-threatening’: 80-year-old Australian survives 30-minute boat ride with tiger snake

May 02, 2021

WONDERING WHAT DAD WANTS FOR FATHER’S DAY?

Wonder no more.

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

DEFINITELY OVERDUE FOR CLEANING

Airport toilet in China a tourist attraction after scientist says it contains fossils hundreds of millions of years old

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

THEY’RE GOING TO PICKLE HIS PEPPERS

Auckland Transport to report pothole penis painter to police

(Thanks to Ralph)

THE CIVIL WAR IS NOT OVER

Authorities say a man was rescued after a tree that fell during high winds trapped him inside a portable toilet at Gettysburg National Military Park in south-central Pennsylvania.

(Thanks to pharmaross, Ralph, Al Barkafski and Trent W)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

11:19 p.m. Kids were suspected of throwing cheese on a truck.

(Thanks to Roberto)

‘HELLO, GRUBHUB CUSTOMER SUPPORT?’

Eight little lambs dropped off at Brooklyn man’s home by accident

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

May 01, 2021

WE HAVE FELT LIKE THAT

A 330-ton fatberg is clogging an English city's sewer, and it won't move for weeks

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, The Perts and Mr. Ridley Pearson)

NOPE

See-through 'Sky Pool' spans two London buildings

(Thanks to The Perts)

IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE SURPRISING?

New research by the University of New England's Palaeoscience Research Centre suggests juvenile tyrannosaurs were slenderer and relatively faster for their body size compared to their multi-tonne parents.

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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