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May 25, 2021

INCLUDING 'SOILED DOG PADS'

In Florida, Anything Can Be A Weapon

Related: A Florida Man yesterday struck his daughter in the face with a slice of pizza, resulting in his arrest for battery, police report.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Comments

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Soiled Dog Pads is a Garbage cover band.

Should the battering persist, the victim should look into investing in a blow-up doll.

Was it a pepperoni pizza? He could also charged with 'misuse of an endangered condiment'.

If anchovies were involved, it is immediately escalated to a felony.

I was going to suggest it was a waste of good pizza, but it could have been Domino's or the like.

Either way, they need to get those things out of civilian hands.

In the first case, I predict she will get off if she claims the Windex was an 'homage' to My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Soiled Dog Pads tried to open for the Stray Cats, but the result was something of a mess.

Except the Miami Herald (unless you're using it as a strictly self-defensive weapon).

My inner entrepreneur sees a new market for soiled dog pad pizza.

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