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April 29, 2021


Is the Competitive Bridge World Rife with Cheaters?

(Thanks to The Perts)


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No, only the ones who go to titty bars.

When Omar Sharif goes bad.

How would you know? The one time I tried to learn bridge, I found it so incomprehensible that I went back to something easier to understand. Like quantum physics.

This was five years ago, when Vanity Fair was still a serious force in soft porn, I mean, investigative journalism. Now it's all about drinking the bathwater.

They cheat at shuffleboard as well, so I hear.

It's only a matter of time before chess follows suit. Illegally weighted pieces, competitors squares on the chessboard are smaller, malfunctioning timers, chess pieces that really kill you like in Harry Potter, etc.

@nursecindy - there are actually cheater caught in chess tournaments. They were going to bathroom, and were getting advice on moves on their cell phones, from colleagues or software.

All I can say is 1 no trump.

I've a duty as the referee
At the start of the match
On behalf of all our sponsors I must welcome you
Which I do -- there's a catch.

I don't care if you're a champion
No one messes with me
I am ruthless in upholding what I know is right
Black or white -- as you'll see.

I'm on the case, can't be fooled
Any objection is overruled
Yes, I'm the arbiter and I know best.
(He's impartial, don't push him, he's unimpressed.)

You got your tricks, good for you
But there's no gambit I don't see through
Oh I'm the arbiter, I know the score.
(From square one he'll be watching all 64.)

-- The Arbiter and Company, Chess (Broadway musical)

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