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March 05, 2021

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Massive tit fight breaks out in Scottish park

Nottingham Knockers are back and this time they're in the Forest

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

CANADA: A NATION IN CRISIS

Halifax man receives mysterious 3-headed taxidermic duckling in the mail

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

SO LET’S MAKE SURE WE DEPLANE SWIFTLY

SpaceX's SN10 Starship rocket manages to land for the first time, explodes minutes later

(Thanks to man Tom)

THANK HEAVEN FOR COMPREHENSIVE ANALYZERS

People with higher incomes are 'prouder, more confident and less afraid', according to 'the most comprehensive analysis to date'.

(Thanks to Roberto)

HERE IN FLORIDA WE TAKE OUR TRAFFIC LAWS SERIOUSLY

A couple driving north on I-95 from Boca Raton faced a split-second decision when a couch fell off a truck in front of them and tumbled into their lane. They swerved to avoid the couch, struck the median and flipped over. Their car was totaled and both were taken to the hospital in ambulances. They were lucky to have survived. But their luck ended when a Florida Highway Patrol trooper showed up at the hospital with a $166 traffic ticket for “failing to drive in a single lane,” according to the crash report.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

RESULTING NEWS STORY SETS RECORD FOR PUNS PER INCH

Train delayed after cat curls up on roof and refuses to come down

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ASTRONAUT GUYS IN ACTION

How x-rated photos were secretly added to Apollo 12 astronauts' suits as a JOKE on pioneering mission

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FLORIDA MARINE REPORT

Florida snorkeler finds floating bale with nearly 70 pounds of cocaine

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS JUST IN

It is fair to say they could not believe it when they found a 2,000-year-old millstone decorated with an enhanced penis.

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

LET US KNOW IF THIS HEADLINE IS TOO LONG

People Literally Don’t Know When to Shut Up—or Keep Talking—Science Confirms

(Thanks to Ralph)

PEACE AT LAST

US-UK trade truce means cheaper whisky for Americans

(Thanks to The Perts and Asher Scheiner)

 
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