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February 28, 2021
WE OLDER HUMANS COULD USE SOMETHING LIKE THIS
IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE
Seal found in P.E.I. neighbourhood gets ride in police cruiser
(Thanks to Doug Ogg)
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, pharmaross and Bill Hudgins)
IN AN AFFECTIONATE MANNER, WE ARE CERTAIN
February 27, 2021
THE END IS NIGH, PEOPLE. VERY NIGH.
Turns Out, Hats On Snakes Are A Thing And There’s A Community Celebrating It
(Thanks to John Lobert)
FLORIDA EDUCATION UPDATE
12-year-old girl accused of selling stun-guns at Tampa middle school
(Thanks to pharmaross)
WE'RE GONNA MAKE HIM AN OFFER HE CAN'T REFUSE
Horse Statue Beheaded Outside Suffolk County Antique Store
(Thanks to pharmaross)
February 26, 2021
STOP THE PRESSES
Chicago tops list of most corrupt city in US, report says
(Thanks to Rod Nunley)
AUSTRALIA: EVEN THE GRANDMOTHERS ARE DANGEROUS
Grandma celebrating her birthday takes down purse snatcher in Australia
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
DANS CE CAS, MONSIEUR...
THE LEGAL LIMIT IS 75
Police seize 80 alligator heads from a house in Birmingham
(Thanks to John Lobert)
IT LAUGHS AT YOUR WINDOW SCREEN
Australian Woman Photographs Moth Larger Than Her Hand
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
YOUR ‘LOG OUT’ JOKE HERE
Teacher masturbating in Zoom classroom thought he ‘was logged out when class was over’
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says “In that case, sir….”)
BY WAY OF APOLOGY, THE OFFICIALS WILL RECEIVE ANTIQUE TRADITIONAL FRUIT BASKETS
China Gave US Diplomats Anal COVID Tests ‘In Error,’ American Officials Say
(Thanks to Le Petomane and Mike Leone)
DUH
In cockroach fights, bet on the roach with the bigger respiratory system
(Thanks to Jim Anderson, who says “I know I do.”)
WASH BEFORE USING
SO RELEVANT
A mister no more: Mr. Potato Head goes gender neutral
(Thanks to many people)
THE WONDER CONDIMENT
Mayonnaise helps save turtles rescued from oil spill
(Thanks to Steve Bradford, who says “They’ll lay deviled eggs.”)
‘WE KNOW WHAT TYPE OF SOUP YOU’RE EATING TONIGHT’
Man called Colin Pidgeon catches a pigeon during government Zoom call
(Thanks to John Lobert)
February 25, 2021
IT WAS A CONSENTING PENIS WORM
Woman has fun with penis worm during deep dive
(Thanks to Allen at Division and pharmaross)
MAKES AS MUCH SENSE TO US AS BITCOIN
Sneakerheads Have Turned Jordans and Yeezys Into a Bona Fide Asset Class
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
eBay sellers listing 'rare' plastic McDonald's straws for as much as £5,000
(Thanks to Ronal Troyer)
PROTESTING THE REMOVAL OF 'CHARLOTTE'S WEB'
Venomous spiders prompt temporary Michigan library shutdown
(Thanks to Rick Day and EricY)
CANADA PLUNGES EVEN DEEPER INTO ANARCHY
Erotic snow sculptures heat up parody City of Winnipeg Facebook page
(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)
Baffled Canadians Spread Reports Of 'Hard' Butter
(Thanks to MOTW)
(Thanks to pharmaross)
February 24, 2021
'DAMN I'M BUZZED'
You know the state.
(Thanks to pharmaross)
MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY
(Thanks to pharmaross)
DOG BITES MAN
Australian family finds deadly snake swimming in backyard pool
(Thanks to pharmaross)
WITH BEER, WE ASSUME
Nutritionist says pizza is better for breakfast than most cereals
(Thanks to Ralph)
CALL WILLIE NELSON, BECAUSE IT’S TIME FOR A BENEFIT CONCERT
Elon Musk Loses $15 Billion in a Day After Bitcoin Warning
(Thanks to Rod Nunley)
February 23, 2021
BARGAIN HUNTERS OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Kevin Smith)
IN THAT CASE, SIR...
Also legally sound: When Ortecho finally pulled over, he said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know driving reckless was illegal.”
(Thanks to pharmaross)
BECAUSE SOMEBODY HAS WAY TOO MUCH MONEY?
Why an Animated Flying Cat With a Pop-Tart Body Sold for Almost $600,000
(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "My budget can only afford to duct tape a banana to the wall.")
WE BEAT THIS 'RECORD' EVERY TIME OUR GRANDCHILDREN VISIT
February 22, 2021
BETCHA FIVE DOLLARS HE'S A GOOD DOG, TOO*
Dogs are mysteriously turning blue and pink in Russian city
(Thanks to DaninDallas)
'NOTHING CAN GO WRONG...'
Watch Guests on a British Comedy Show Sing a Song About Oregon’s Exploding Whale
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
CSI: NOTTINGHAMSHIRE
Exploding Red Bull cans helped police to catch cannabis growers
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
'STIFFER FINES'
Cock seller fined $5 000 for breach
(Thanks to pharmaross)
WHEW
THE SECRET INGREDIENT
Customer receives bottle of urine in HelloFresh delivery
(Thanks to pharmaross)
NO DOUBT WEAVING IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF FLORIDA
New Blood Alcohol Record Recorded By "Highly Intoxicated" Oregon Motorist
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK
EDINBURGH NIGHTLIFE REPORT
Scottish woman bit off man’s tongue in street brawl — then seagull ate it
(Thanks to DaninDallas and pharmaross)
YIKES
United Flight 328 engine catches fire
(Thanks to Dave N., who says "Otherwise, it was a smooth flight.")
February 21, 2021
THIS JUST IN
Google enthusiast uncovers obscure manhood-shaped island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean
(Thanks to Matt Filar, pharmaross and Unholy Slacker)
WAIT… THE KITTENS WERE ARMED?
An Ohio bomb squad was called to disarm an adorable bag of kittens
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
DUH
Is your cat destroying your love life?
(Thanks to Ranald Adams and Barry Nester)
Note the name of the writer.
‘WE CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP’
HEEL, DUDE
'Pups and Prerolls' event at Mesa dispensary gives free weed to people who adopt dogs
(Thanks to pharmaross)
THAT’LL SHOW HER
Florida man, 'upset at his girlfriend,' sets fire in BG hotel room
(Thanks to John Lobert)
February 20, 2021
OR IT MIGHT NOT
'He thought it'd be fun': PA man gets SUV submerged after driving across frozen lake
(Thanks to John Lobert)