Dave Barry's Blog

BARGAIN HUNTERS OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Parents who bought a toy for their daughter from an El Mirage, Arizona, thrift store found more than 5,000 fentanyl pill inside, the Phoenix Police Department said.

A woman went to buy a crochet kit to make animal hats and ended up with a kilogram of cocaine instead, Seattle police say.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

IN THAT CASE, SIR...

...a 21-year-old motorist told cops that he was speeding on a Florida highway because he was “listening to a song named Ciento Veinte, which means 120, so I was driving 120.”

Also legally sound: When Ortecho finally pulled over, he said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know driving reckless was illegal.”

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BECAUSE SOMEBODY HAS WAY TOO MUCH MONEY?

Why an Animated Flying Cat With a Pop-Tart Body Sold for Almost $600,000

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "My budget can only afford to duct tape a banana to the wall.")

WE BEAT THIS 'RECORD' EVERY TIME OUR GRANDCHILDREN VISIT

...this is a video of competitive eater L.A. Beast setting a new Guinness World Record for further distance walked barefoot on LEGO bricks, with an incredibly painful 3,886.20-meters (12,750-feet, ~2.4148-miles, beating the previous record set by barefoot marathon runner Sonny Molina by only 16.36-meters, or ~53.7-feet).

(Thanks to John Lobert)