Dave Barry's Blog

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Russian scientists probe prehistoric viruses dug from permafrost

(Thanks to Rodney Bertelsen and Roberto)

OF COURSE

New mosquito species found in South Florida. It’s an aggressive biter, of course.

(Thanks to wiredog, who asks "Why do people live there?" To which we answer: "Do you have access to a national weather map?")

OR, AS WE SAY IN MIAMI, TUESDAY

Miami lawyer whose pants caught fire during arson trial arrested on cocaine charge

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR R.E.M.

'Revenge bedtime procrastination' could be robbing you of precious sleep time

It's a good thing we have medical experts to inform us that if we stay up late, we get less sleep.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NEXT STOP: ANARCHY

French workers can now eat lunch at their desks without breaking the law

(Thanks to The Perts)

CSI: EXMOUTH, DEVON

Bird spotters who breached lockdown restrictions to catch a glimpse of a rare bird have been handed fines.

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND THEN THEY TOOK A CELEBRATORY HIT OFF THE OBSERVATORY BONG

...astronomers have confirmed that the planetoid Farfarout is now the farthest known Solar System object.

(Thanks to Dave N)

AND THEY WONDER WHY GODZILLA KEEPS ATTACKING

Japan unveils chewing gum-flavoured chips!

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

BRILLIANT

A Ukrainian man reported a fictitious murder in the hope that police would clear his snow-covered road when they came to arrest him, regional authorities said on Monday.

(Thanks to uncle johno and Bob Brogan)