Dave Barry's Blog

'THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN OINKING'

Pigs can be trained to use computer joysticks, say researchers

(Thanks to Alkali Bill, who says "there goes my job.")

APPARENTLY HE REALLY LIKES ICE CREAM

Man Gets Stuck On Side Of Building After Allegedly Stealing 8 Pints Of Ice Cream From East Harlem Business

(Thanks to pharmaross and Kevin Smith)

SMALL BUSINESS OF THE WEEK SO FAR

The Tucson woman contacted reptile relocation company Rattlesnake Solutions for help when she found the snake camped out right next to her Uber Eats delivery.

Related: Two Florida cousins say they have wrangled a 300-pound, 16-foot-long Burmese python on their family property outside of Tampa.

That is some serious wrangling.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IF THAT DOESN'T RESULT IN CIVIL RIGHTS, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

A Florida Man arrested yesterday for indecent exposure told police that he was “protesting for civil rights by showing his penis to traffic,” according to a criminal complaint.

Related: Chastity Penis Lock Company That Was Hacked Says It's Now Totally Safe To Put Your Penis Back In That Chastity Lock

(Thanks to Barry Nester and pharmaross

BUT DUDE, THEY LIKE IT

CONSERVATIONISTS PLEAD WITH PUBLIC TO STOP MILKING PSYCHEDELIC TOADS

(Thanks to Ralph)

HE TEACHES MATH, SO THE STUDENTS PROBABLY GOT JUST AS MUCH OUT OF IT

Professor realizes at end of 2-hour Zoom lecture that he was on mute

(Thanks to Christopher Shelley)

Please note that this blog sees nothing amusing about the professor's name.