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January 20, 2021

WE READ THE STORY, AND WE STILL HAVE NO IDEA

“We’re not crossing our fingers, we’re pressing our buttocks,” the organizers shouted to Roselyne Bachelot

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Comments

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Boy, how appropriately named. Sixty thousand butts pressed together indeed would constitute a Hellfest.

"Pressing our buttocks" also is an appropriate description, as most of the "music" probably sounds like s***.

Buttock Pressers opened for Butthole Surfers.

The writer may be a French speaker -- "serrer les fesses" (which might be translated as "clenching one's cheeks") means "to hold on" or "to hang in there."

They should have held the concert near Uranus, then they could have eaten all the cabbage and garlic they wanted and nobody would have been required to try and keep a tight butt.

We'll have to change the line to "I press my buttocks in your general direction."

My proctologist says that CBS (Crossed Buttocks Syndrome) can have dire consequences.

After going through 2020, why would any sane person want to go to another hellfest?

Clenched Buttocks is a serious medical side effect of Viagra.
Also the name of the rock band touring with Butthole Surfers.

I think they're talking about the type of clenching we did before calculus exams.

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