WE READ THE STORY, AND WE STILL HAVE NO IDEA

“We’re not crossing our fingers, we’re pressing our buttocks,” the organizers shouted to Roselyne Bachelot

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Comments

[Rod Nunley]

Boy, how appropriately named. Sixty thousand butts pressed together indeed would constitute a Hellfest.

[wanderer2575]

"Pressing our buttocks" also is an appropriate description, as most of the "music" probably sounds like s***.

Buttock Pressers opened for Butthole Surfers.

[Oulipo LeSceptique]

The writer may be a French speaker -- "serrer les fesses" (which might be translated as "clenching one's cheeks") means "to hold on" or "to hang in there."

[cfjk]

They should have held the concert near Uranus, then they could have eaten all the cabbage and garlic they wanted and nobody would have been required to try and keep a tight butt.

[wanderer2575]

We'll have to change the line to "I press my buttocks in your general direction."

[Lucky Jack]

My proctologist says that CBS (Crossed Buttocks Syndrome) can have dire consequences.

[Le Petomane]

After going through 2020, why would any sane person want to go to another hellfest?

[Loco]

Clenched Buttocks is a serious medical side effect of Viagra.
Also the name of the rock band touring with Butthole Surfers.

[Alkali Bill]

I think they're talking about the type of clenching we did before calculus exams.