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January 13, 2021


Always check under the microwave.

(Thanks to Matt Filar, John Lobert and pharmaross)


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Always NEVER check under the the microwave, that's what the interns are for.

Send clean underwear

Australian microwave instructions:

1. If venomous snake is observed, open door and put in food suitable for snake.
2. Wait for snake to crawl in.
3. Close door.
4. Run microwave on HIGH for 6-7 minutes or until snake's internal temperature reaches 75C.
5. Enjoy your meal.

Advice for Australian property owners finding a deadly venomous snake in their home:

Quickly get a 5 gallon can of gasoline.

Dump the gas around the base of structure and use a match to ignite it.

Wait several minutes to assure the fire is totally out of control before calling the fire department.

Collect insurance money and move to New Zealand.

If you follow LePet’s advise, stand FAR away from the burning building. A burning structure in Australia might produce an eruption of venomous snakes and spiders escaping from every crevice and cranny. It might be better to dynamite the place and kill them all at once.

Ya gonna quit laughing when they find these things in the Everglades.

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