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January 18, 2021

CLEARLY EN ROUTE TO FLORIDA

Flaming truck speeds through town

(Thanks to Steve K)

FRANCE ON HIGHEST POSSIBLE ALERT

Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina-scented candle explodes into flames causing an ‘inferno’ in a woman’s living room

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY CONTRACT IT IN AN AIRPORT

Man found living in Chicago airport for three months 'due to fear of Covid'

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "I've spent three months circulating the passenger pickup loop, but never been inside that long.")

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

12:09 p.m. A woman reported her brother was manufacturing drugs and messing with her Wi-Fi.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

THEY TOOK HALF THE DAY OFF

Magicians mark 100 years of 'sawing woman in half' trick

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

SEND THEM TO FLORIDA; THEY CAN FIGHT IT OUT WITH THE PYTHONS

Colombia’s ‘cocaine hippos’ must be stopped, scientists warn

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HE THREATENED TO CALL THE POLICE ON HER

Police say Oregon man who stole a car with a child in the backseat came back and 'lectured' the mom about parenting

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and pharmaross)

THEY WERE TRAINED BY THE SQUIRRELS

Shrewd macaques prefer to target items that humans are most likely to exchange for food, such as electronics, rather than objects that tourists care less about, such as hairpins or empty camera bags

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

 
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