Dave Barry's Blog

PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP WHEN STAGGERING OUT

Massive sinkhole reopens outside Florida sports bar

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AT LEAST POLICE HAVE SOMETHING TO GO ON

Dozens of adult diapers spilled along ENC highway

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE LAW IS SETTLED

Russia’s Supreme Court rules attending football match is good reason to miss work

(Thanks to Ralph)

MEANWHILE ABROAD

Two pigs have reportedly entered a police station in Sindh after which cops were seen running out of the building to save their lives.

(Thanks to Ralph)

NO ARGUMENT HERE

A French waiter fired for being “aggressive, rude and disrespectful” says his behaviour wasn’t out of line – he’s just French.

(Thanks to Ranald Adams)

This blog, speaking from personal experience, agrees with the waiter.

'HERE TO KEEP THE INNER PEACE'

Yoga Joes

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

BULLETIN UPDATE ON JOE THE PIGEON

A pigeon that Australia declared a biosecurity risk has received a reprieve after a U.S. bird organization declared its identifying leg band was fake.

(Thanks to pharmaross and EricY)

WITHOUT STUDIES, WE MIGHT NEVER HAVE KNOWN

Guppies have varying levels of self-control

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

CSI: CANADA

The car was missing its front windshield. There was a hole in the back window, glass on the highway and an axe on the backseat.

...Lewis asked police why he had been pulled over. It was then, Judge Paul Scovil writes, that the officer noticed Lewis had his pants pulled down to his knees. "I believe I can take judicial notice that this is an unusual way to wear one's pants when operating a motor vehicle," Judge Scovil wrote.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

Oscar Mayer hiring ‘hotdoggers’ to drive Wienermobile

(Thanks to pharmaross and Matt Filar)

'OBVIOUSLY THERE'S NO OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE FOR THAT'

Fish are better and happier now they are British, claims Rees-Mogg

(Thanks to Ralph)

GO FIGURE

Dad With Tattooed Eyeballs Says Other Parents Are 'Scared' To Let Their Kids Play With His

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

WE ALREADY HAVE CONGRESS

A man who makes a living by renting himself out “to do nothing” has garnered an enormous following online and thousands of clients.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE NEWS COULD NOT GET ANY WORSE

Scientists make 'extraordinary' find of electric eels hunting in packs

(Thanks to Art Kraus, who says "Some might call this discovery 'shocking', but I'll settle for 'illuminating.'")

IDAHO: WHERE FOR $200 A NIGHT...

...you can sleep in a potato!

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE'LL JUST HAVE A BEER, THANKS

Snakes in your wine bottles

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

AND IT SOUNDS AS GOOD AS IT LOOKS

VOC-25 is a conceptual vocal synthesizer based on the Axoloti Core and 25 sets of plastic teeth, each set representing a unique note on the keyboard.

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "In lieu of flying cars.")