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December 31, 2020
SOON WE WILL HAVE NO HUMAN RIGHTS AT ALL
(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "He looks very extinguished.")
FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS
Maine kayaker rescues escaped goat that swam into the ocean
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
WE ASSUME ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE SINGLE
YES, AND?
AS OPPOSED TO AN ALIEN FROM THIS PLANET
World’s Largest Sea Slug Looks Like an Alien From Another Planet
(Thanks to Ralph)
GUYS IN ACTION
Florida Man Flies Learjet With Excavator Like a Toy Plane
(Thanks to Ralph)
PROBABLY RELATED TO BEER CONSUMPTION
US rivers are changing from blue to yellow and green, satellite images show
(Thanks to The Perts)
December 30, 2020
ATTENTION, TECH BROS PLANNING TO RELOCATE TO MIAMI:
ADVISORY TO THOSE WHO ARE FLEEING AUSTRALIA TO ESCAPE THE PLAGUE OF CEILING SNAKES:
(Thanks tp pharmaross)
THE LITTLE FURRED TERRORISTS ARE GETTING THEIR LAST 2020 LICKS IN
Aggressive squirrel attacks reported in Queens neighborhood
(Thanks to many people)
AND IN SPORTS
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "Other than that, it was a nice funeral.")
IT WILL HENCEFORTH BE KNOWN AS 'McDONALD'S'
MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY
WHEN THE CONTOURS RECORDED THIS WONDERFUL SONG...
...they could not possibly have envisioned this.
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
December 29, 2020
NOW YOU TELL US
Earth Actually Has Four North Poles
(Thanks to Rod Nunley, who says "No wonder everybody's lost.")
A NICE MEMORY FROM BACK WHEN THIS BLOG WAS 11 YEARS OLD
I hadn’t thought about this for many years, but a friend of mine posted something of yours this week. And it made me think of the time I was on the front page of the newspaper, with you signing your autograph to my son’s leg cast in 1986. I still have the leg cast, by the way, not to mention the clipping from the Spokane newspaper. You autographed my copy of Babies and Other Hazards of Sex. Still have that too. Good times! -- -- Sue Harwood
O THE HUMANITY
Canmore Fire-Rescue responds to semi-truck full of toilet paper on fire
(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "the load was wiped out.")
PRETEND FLORIDA LAW-ENFORCEMENT OFFICER OF THE WEEK SO FAR
WE KNOW WHAT *NOT* TO DO
Frozen whale on LBI challenge to remove from beach
(Thanks to pretty much everybody)
AND BY 'FAINT-HEARTED,' WE MEAN 'SANE'
Snake massage trend is not for the faint-hearted
(Thanks to pharmaross)
December 28, 2020
'A TRADITIONAL VEGETABLE PRODUCT'
After 20 Years, Court Tells Baker to Stop Selling Cookies Made With Sawdust
(Thanks to pharmaross)
WE ARE SHOCKED, SHOCKED
Cheating a 'free-for-all' at virtual high schools, teachers say
That's in Canada, of course. No way OUR kids are cheating.
(Thanks t The Perts)
IT'S POSSIBLE, WHAT WITH ALL THE PANDEMIC SNACKING
Are there aliens hiding around Uranus?
(Thanks to Ralph)
December 27, 2020
IT'S FINE TO INSTALL THEM; JUST DON'T TURN THEM ON
The blades on 191,000 ceiling fans sold at Home Depot might fly off while spinning
(Thanks to Kevin Smith)
THIS SUGGESTS THAT THE ORIGINAL VERSION CONTAINS MEAT
MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY
INEVITABLY
Gingerbread monolith appears on Christmas in San Francisco
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Doug Ogg)
HOW DOES A GUY REMOVE SNOW FROM HIS DRIVEWAY?
(Thanks to pharmaross, Maryann, Asher Scheiner and Ralph)
OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER
Congress Legalizes Smokey Bear Impersonations
(Thanks to John Sullivan, who says "I no longer have to look over my shoulder.")
December 26, 2020
HISTORICALLY HISTORIC
Oklahoma county road sign marks spot where Paul McCartney asked for directions
(Thanks to sunbeamsvc, who says "But he didn't sleep there.")
WHY IS THIS COOKIE WRAPPED AROUND MY TONGUE?
Florida python hunter bakes Christmas cookies using snake eggs
(Thanks to Le Petomane and pharmaross)
THIS IS WHY IT IS OUR POLICY, CRUEL THOUGH IT MAY SOUND, NEVER TO TRY TO HELP A CONSTIPATED ELEPHANT
Poo Explodes In Vet’s Face As He Tries To Help A Constipated Elephant
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
CSI: FLATHEAD COUNTY
1:29 p.m. A deputy investigating a cat bite was also bitten by the cat.
(Thanks to pharmaross)
FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT
Bags of chia seeds wash ashore on central coast near Florence and Newport
(Thanks to John Lobert, pharmaross and Ralph)
SO IT HAS CHARACTER
Woman Realizes The $1 “Paperweight” She Bought Is Actually An Urn With Someone’s Ashes
(Thanks to John Lobert)
YOU GO AHEAD
(Thanks to DaninDallas, who says "Here’s a healthy salad for you dear. What's that smell?")
ONE LITTLE FLAW
Urban Outfitters forced to recall thousands of flammable candle holders
(Thanks to John Lobert)
December 24, 2020
CHRISTMAS EVE
Have a Cool Yule, you wonderful blogfolk. May your days be merry and bright. And if you live in South Florida, may the falling lizards not land on your head.
IMAGINE THEIR GRATITUDE
Report: Florida man sets truck on fire to give deputies 'something to do'
(Thanks to pharmaross)
WE ASSUME THE CLUBS WERE ALSO DRIVERS, AND AS SUCH HAD VALID FLORIDA LICENSES
Florida man arrested for tossing golf clubs at other drivers before punching trooper
(Thanks to pharmaross)
IF THAT'S NOT SUSPICIOUS, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IS
Suspicious Black Country behaviour turns out to be men ‘walking’ pet owl
(Thanks to Doug Ogg)
DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS IN MIAMI
Bill Gross harassed neighbor with ‘Gilligan’s Island’ song, judge rules
(Thanks to Doug Ogg)
AND THEN DIES
Man swims 662 feet underwater on only one breath
(Thanks to MOTW)
FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT
Magnet fisherman pulls 19 grenades out of British river
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
AFTER THIS THEY WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO RETIRE THE NOBEL PRIZE
KFC launches game console that keeps your chicken warm
(Thanks to Fred Preller and Ralph)
DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER
December 23, 2020
WHO SAYS THERE ARE NO MIRACLES?
Mum stunned to see ‘face of Jesus’ in Brussels sprout while preparing veg ahead of Christmas
(Thanks to Doug Ogg and John Lobert)
AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING
Walla Walla police make largest toilet paper seizure in agency history
So now they have something to go on.
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)