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November 08, 2020


Wonder no more.

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)


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I still haven't tried rollerblades.

When he lands I bet he still takes up two parking spaces.

From the diary of detective Joe Friday:

It was a beautiful day in the Alps. Frank and I were enjoying a well deserved picnic after successfully, of course, solving a jewel theft we had been called in to investigate. It was an easy case, the butler did it.

We had just laid out our lunch and were preparing to open a bottle of good wine when some idiot wearing a wingsuit with the jets on his belly came screaming out of the sky and crashed no more than a 100 feet from our lunch.

Frank tried calling 911, but that didn't work here for some reason. Surprisingly, the crashed idiot staggered to his knees and pointed at a duck that was stuck in his throat. I extracted the dead duck, then the dude started jabbering in some foreign language we didn't understand. Anyway, our picnic was ruined, so we packed everything in the car and headed down the mountain.
"We should have let him use our phone." Frank said.
"Somebody will miss him sooner or later." I said.
"Yeah," Frank said."It'll be good to get back home where people don't fall out of the sky with a duck stuck in their mouth."
I agreed. "In Florida people never have these sort of things to deal with."

Just please avoid the air traffic pattern at LAX, or you'll have to answer to Iron Man.

Before you give this to your guy, first ask him if he has life insurance. If he says yes find out if you're the beneficiary. If he answers yes to that too, give him this gift and wish him good luck.

Does a box of Depends come with that ?

Does it come in an XXL ?

The article said "Austria," but I bet they meant Australia.

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