« October 2020 | Main | December 2020 »

November 17, 2020

YOU KNOW THEY GOT COACHING FROM THE SQUIRRELS

Gulls Work Out The Timing of School Lunch Breaks So They Can Steal Food

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WHY IS THIS KIDNEY THROWING UP?

Italian Police Use Lamborghini To Transport Donor Kidney 300 Miles In Two Hours

(Thanks to Tim Couch)

November 16, 2020

LE OOPS

French broadcaster apologises after wrongly killing off Queen and Pelé

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

UNCLEAR WHERE THE JOCKEY WILL SIT

Belgian racing pigeon fetches record price of $1.9 million

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

ACTUALLY NOT THAT BIG, FOR NYC

Man dressed as giant rat takes subway mask requirement to new heights

(Thanks to John Lobert and Matt Filar)

BETTER THAN HITTING IT AT 30,000 FEET

Jetliner hits bear on runway in Southeast Alaska

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Wallabies from Australia have gained a foothold in the U.K. and may be there for good

(Thanks to The Perts)

THEY WERE ASKING FOR IT

Person Shot In Buttocks In Orange County

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Police are looking for a crack in this case.")

AND IN SPORTS

Russian pilots carry out penis-shaped flight pattern in show of support for soccer captain axed from national team for sex act video

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SOMEBODY IS *SO* GROUNDED

A 14-year-old Brooklyn boy who skipped town with his 11-year-old girlfriend was found speeding in his dad’s car in an Iowa town on Sunday, police and sources said.

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "they were released after producing valid Florida etc.")

A STUDY THAT WILL BE CITED TO PARENTS BY BASEMENT-DWELLERS EVERYWHERE

Video gaming can benefit mental health, find Oxford academics

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER...

...for Peat Slippage.

(Thanks to Roberto)

SEND THESE COWS TO WASHINGTON

Whatcom County council member’s cows interrupt online budget talks; moos heard

(Thanks to pharmaross and Ralph)

November 15, 2020

CLEANUP IN... OK, A LOT OF AISLES

A man drove through a grocery store in Columbia Falls

Clearly en route to Florida.

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "He obviously doesn't understand the concept of the express check-out lane.")

DUDES

Please do not blow vape smoke into your Xbox Series X, Microsoft warns

(Thanks to The Perts)

WE AWAIT A RULING FROM THE CDC

Wrinkle-faced male bats lower face masks to copulate

(Thanks to Ralph)

CSI: GOSPORT

Man warned by police after shouting 'wakey wakey' in Gosport

(Thanks to Ralph and Mr. X., who says "we are currently in a lockdown situation in England - non-esssential shops closed, work from home if you can, essential travel only, etc.  Obviously it's vital to drive around at stupid o'clock shouting out of your car window.")

BLAME IT ON URDOG

Uranus Is Leaking Gas Into Space Every 17 Hours

(Thanks to pharmaross)

November 14, 2020

CSI: GOOSE CREEK

A South Carolina man’s limited wardrobe landed him in jail this week, after police say he came to court dressed in the same outfit seen in surveillance photos from a theft scene, according to the Goose Creek Police Department.

(Thanks to Vernon Bowen)

BECAUSE IT'S FUN AT PARTIES, DUDE

Platypuses Glow Under Blacklight. We Have No Idea Why.

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

IF THEY WANT TO HUMP YOUR LEG, DO NOT TRY TO STOP THEM

Robot dogs to enhance security at Tyndall AFB, Fla.

(Thanks to MOTW, who says "They will, of course, carry Florida driver’s licenses.")

A GRATEFUL NATION REJOICES

Stolen Bigfoot Museum statue found after police search

(Thanks to Andrew Mendez)

2020 STRIKES AGAIN

Jumping 'snake worms' are taking over US forests and that's bad news for other creepy crawlers

(Thanks to AmoebaStampede, who says "That was Little Orphan Annie's second choice for a catchphrase.")

GUYS ARE ALL THE SAME

Extremely Venomous Snake Caught Trying to Mate with Garden Hose

(Thanks to Ralph)

November 13, 2020

TIP FOR FLORIDA GOLFERS:

You're gonna need a bigger club.

(Thanks to many people)

HEH HEH. GET IT?

Police stumped by theft of rare tree in Wisconsin capital

This is a job for the investigative branch responsible for rooting out crime. We hope they catch the saps who did this.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE NOBEL-PRIZE RACE: CANADA SURGES AHEAD

High-tech mask that sobers you up 3 times faster than normal is invented by scientists

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Orlando Unveils Plans for First Flying-Car Hub in U.S.

(Thanks to many people)

IN FLORIDA, THIS IS CONSIDERED A FASHION ACCESSORY

A 42-year-old armed robbery suspect who walked out of the Palmetto Police Department in handcuffs on Nov. 2 was captured five days later still in handcuffs.

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

2020 CHRISTMAS

Yup.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

November 12, 2020

TRY USING THIS IN MIAMI

No, for real, don't.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

SPEAKING OF SMELLS....

Average person only cleans toilet once every six months

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

SMELLOVISION!

Israeli scientists say they have made a breakthrough that could pave the way for smellovision TVs, scented digital photos that have a whiff of vacation, and technology that can “print” any odor.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR HEART

Warmongering Female Mongooses Lead Their Groups Into Battle to Mate With the Enemy

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

NOW IT'S SERIOUS

Great tits could be wiped out by climate change in near future

(Thanks to Lucky Jack, Michael Moyer and Fred Preller)

A DAY OF REMEMBRANCE

Today is the 50th anniversary of the day the Oregon Highway Division used a half-ton of dynamite to detonate a deceased whale. We can all agree that this is without question the most wonderful thing that has ever happened. Here's a detailed account of this historic event by the Oregon Historical Society.

INCREDIBLY, THEY ARE NOT VENOMOUS

Two new mammals unknown to science found in Australia

(Thanks to John Lobert)

FLORIDA SPORTS REPORT

Adult dancer ‘Strawberry’ fights other dancers in apparent donnybrook

This has been your Florida Sports Report.

(Thanks to John Lobert and DaninDallas)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE VOGUES

Horde of earthworms scare in eastern Taiwan

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE WERE HOPING FOR A VACCINE, BUT OK

Scientists 3D print microscopic Star Trek spaceship that moves on its own

(Thanks to Matt Filar and Ranald Adams)

TIME FOR ANOTHER FRENCH REVOLUTION

School bans parents from throwing kids over locked gate if they arrive late

2_Screen-Shot-2020-11-11-at-133821

(Thanks to Ralph)

November 11, 2020

BOLO

200 queens were in first 'murder hornet' nest. But there could be more out there

(Thanks to Steve K and John Lobert)

BECAUSE SNAKES DON'T ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH REASONS TO HATE US

There’s an Online Community Made For People Who Enjoy Making Hats For Snakes

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THIS IS WHY WE HAVE THE DEATH PENALTY

Woman Is Called ‘Disturbed’ For Cooking Her Boyfriend’s Steak In TOASTER

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

OBJECTION

Techno is music, German court declares

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

AND ALL THE INTERNET IS DIAL-UP

Scientists Find "Hell Planet" With Lava Oceans, Supersonic Winds, And Rain Made Of Rocks

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

THEREBY QUALIFYING FOR A FLORIDA MEDICAL LICENSE

Monkey 'gives pal mouth-to-mouth' like human after she 'collapses to ground'

(Thanks to Ron T)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR CLAPTON

Put your bandages together for Avocado Hand.

(Thanks to coscolo)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Voter fraud caught again in Bird of the Year competition

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

Dutch police are using portable toilets to apprehend speeders

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise