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November 08, 2020


Astronomers Tracked Down What's Causing Those Strange Space Radio Bursts

(Thanks to The Perts)


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Giving full credit to their cake pans, doctorial students have amended their finding to include magnetars in the same category as 800 spam calls.

"Hello, how is your day going?"

"After I shove this cake pan down your throat, my day will be complete."

Revenge of the Magnetars. Strange alien beings with lead in their arses morph into a rock band when accidentally exposed to a strong electromagnetic field.

The Magnetars were an aggressive species of a magnet based life form. They once sent a mission to earth to check out the success of an invasion. Their landing spot was ill chosen at an abandoned iron mine. They were never seen or heard from again, saving the world.

Scientists have decoded just a few words so far as analog signals take a long while to get here. So far they have a 'HELLO MY NAME IS MIKE....'
Scientists are stumped what this can mean...

Pull my cosmic finger.

Captain's log. Star date 3543.2.
We have traced a distress signal to a magnetar in the constellation Vulpecula. Uhura has attempted hailing on all frequencies, but has thusfar been unsuccessful in raising a response, other than a rather cryptic repeating, "Louie, Louie."
(Ensign Chekov claims the Russians invented this, of course. I sent him to sick bay to see Doctor McCoy for a special 'night-night' cocktail to give the rest of the bridge some peace.)
Spock is unable to ascertain or speculate the precise origin of the distress signal.

Actual name of the McGill University astrophysicist quoted: Ziggy Pleunis.

"Cake Pan Antennas" - Punk Rock Band! Called it first!!

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