HEH HEH. GET IT?

Police stumped by theft of rare tree in Wisconsin capital

This is a job for the investigative branch responsible for rooting out crime. We hope they catch the saps who did this.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Comments

[Steverino]

Puns are everywhere. You just have to know how to root them out. They go over most folk's heads.

Best pun I can think of is the radio (or TV) call letters KSBN. This should have been snatched up by a Spanish broadcasting company, but wasn't. You know, KSBN (Que es bien)

[cfjk]

Has anyone checked 30 Rockefeller Center?

[Flathead County Frank]

If the White House Christmas tree is 25 feet tall, I believe the cops may, for a change, have something to go on.

[man tom]

To add to the confusion.

Probably the work of the Virgin Brothers Tree Service a family business I got to know many yesteryears ago.

Owner: Virgil Virgin - the old man who was known to have never experienced a sober moment. In his entire life.

Sons in no particular order.

Vernon Virgin - Could drink all the alcohol and use all the illicit drugs you and ten friends could supply. Any day of the seek.

Vance Virgin - had not taken a bath since 1961.

Vince Virgin - Flew out his door to meet me with a raised claw hammer when I accidently bumped into his house parking my car. Vance must have had the family pistol in his possession at the time warding off any attempt to make him take a bath.

Note - The Virgin Bros Tree Service was located next to a bar us sane people frequented. Their home was run into a lot by the bar customers. We, myself included, were lucky a Chainsaw Massacre scenario never developed. Their family gun was used on may occasions when protecting the front of their house or when climbing trees.

The Virgins: Virgil, Vince, Vance and Vernon. Tree Service from *HELL*. Soon to be added to NBC Prime Time lineup. Not rated yet. Not enough XXX's to fit on the page.

[Le Petomane]

man tom---Have you considered writing your memoirs? I know I would buy a copy and also see it filmed as an HBO series.

[man tom]

Le Petomane - My memoirs would not be complete without mention of one of the guys from that bar, Mike Francis. I will never forget the day Mike showed up with a police car which had been auctioned off. I remember Mike taking me out front in the parking area, near the front of Virgin Bros. Tree Service, and showing me the spotlight mounted on the driver's side door, which worked flawlessly. The police had failed to remove before selling it to him. Kind of a bonus to owning a former police car. I remember how proud Mike Francis was of that car that day. Then his girlfriend showed up wearing the brown paper bag over head she always wore and the day was ruined.

[LeDud]

I hope police leaf no stone unturned. heh.

[nursecindy]

Anybody seen Padraig around lately?

[cfjk]

Is this why 4 season hired Rudy?

[Tanya.Q]

There is a special place in hell for bad punners.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this guy was barking up the wrong tree.

[Rudolph]

I need to turn over a new leaf.

[padraig]

I couldn't comment earlier, I've been pining over our tragic loss.

[padraig]

man tom, our local lawn/tree service is "Best Buds." Let's just say you want them to be done running heavy equipment on your lawn before 4:20 rolls around.

[MOTW]

Maybe the thief needed all the trimmings.

[MOTW]

I need to comment on this:
The stolen tree was 25-feet tall.

"However, a company white fir located nearby that was planted in 1981 had a 12-foot section cut from its top, police said. That was left behind."

If I understand this, they topped a tree and then left it ?!

They need to be hung from the next highest tree, they do.

[Le Petomane]

From the diary of Sgt. Joe Friday:

Frank and I were once again on our way to Florida when we stopped in Madison, Wisconsin to stock up on Dolly Madison snacks (Frank loves them) when the cell phone rang.
Our crime solving reputation had caught up with us and the local law enforcement had a dastardly crime to solve. It was the theft of a rare tree and the decapitation of another. Arborcide is a terrible crime, just think of the now homeless little birds. Frank hit the lights and siren, shortly we arrived at the crime scene.
Frank started doing a chalk outline of where the victims has fallen. I visited with the local law in charge and got a description of what the stolen trees looked like. This was not going to be an easy crime to solve.
Evidence gathering indicated the hapless trees were spirited away by helicopter since a twenty five foot long tree tied to the top of a car would have been noticed. That gave solid proof the crime fell under jurisdiction of the FAA and therefore a Federal Case.
Frank and I thanked the police for thinking of us, put a sack of Dolly Madison goodies on the front seat along with a cooler full of sodas and once again hit the road to Florida.

"You know, Joe" Frank said staring at the countryside. "These people get awful excited over losing a couple of trees. The place is full of them."
"Yes Frank, I agree. Now please cut the siren and shut off the flashing lights. I want to listen to some Slim Whitman and enjoy a day well spent."

[LeDud]

Actually this crime is one they might have done on DRAGNET. (ala LePet's story). They occasionally did humerous/non serious crimes. Wasn't Jack Webb perfect for that part ? He had no acting ability yet was great as detective Joe Friday. ...time to get back on the bus...

[MOTW]

BRAVO Le Pet!