Dave Barry's Blog

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A VERY CLASSY AFFAIR

A bride has posted a video on TikTok of the moment her new husband "ruined our wedding" by heel-kicking her in the side of the head during a shirtless dance to the Magic Mike soundtrack

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, GO ON BACK TO SLEEP

DUI suspect thought he was dreaming and that UHP trooper was trying to race him, police say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

7:01 p.m. A dog has been barking since June.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MORE THAN 15 MELONS IS A FELONY

Surprisingly strong Hokkaido woman arrested for poking holes in 13 expensive melons with finger

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AUSTRALIAAAAAA

Carpet python trashes Gold Coast family's bathroom

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NOT INSANE AT ALL

Colorado In-N-Out customer loses pants during brawl while waiting in line for newest location

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT'S STARTING

Mysterious metal object found in Utah desert

(Thanks to Ralph, MOTW and Roberto, who says "I'm not saying it's aliens. But it is aliens.")

Here's the official report from the Utah Department of Public Safety, which states: "It is illegal to install structures or art without authorization on federally managed public lands, no matter what planet you’re from."

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "Our alien overlords need to abide by Utah state policy.")

IN EACH CASE, THERE WERE NEARBY SQUIRRELS

6 Bizarre Turkey Attacks

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

TERROR STALKS THE NORTHWEST

Prolific Oregon toilet paper thief busted in Walla Walla County

(Thanks to B'game and Ralph)