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October 20, 2020

IF THERE WERE ONLY ONE EAGLES FAN IN THE STADIUM, HE WOULD FIGHT HIMSELF

Here's video of Eagles fans throwing violent haymakers at each other while breaking every COVID-19 protocol in the book during Philly's loss to Baltimore on Sunday.

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

12:08 p.m. A pig reported to be “pretty friendly” was on the loose near a fast food restaurant.

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

WE'LL NEVER FORGET WHERE WE WERE WHEN WE HEARD THE AWFUL NEWS

Celebrity star Betelgeuse is smaller and closer to us than we thought

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, who says "Yet another 2020 disappointment.")

October 19, 2020

IN THAT CASE, MA'AM...

Florida woman keeps telling police her name is "My butt just farted" during arrest

Here's What Makes This a Quintessential Florida Story: ...she had her last name tattooed on her back...

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUYS IN ACTION

Sheriff's deputies say a man accidentally destroyed a trailer home in a fire while he was trying to scare away a family of raccoons.

Shocker: "...a 38 year old male who had been using narcotics..."

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HE'D HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT IF HE'D USED ROQUEFORT

Naked teen taken into custody after damaging Topeka business, covering himself in ranch dressing & crashing car

(Thanks to pharmaross and Kevin Smith)

LASSIE COME... OH, THERE YOU ARE

Police rescue 'missing' dog that was stuck under owner's reclining chair for two days

(Thanks to maryann, who notes that "It's always the last place you look.")

WE MISS 2019

The Flaming Lips performed a concert with the band and fans encased in plastic bubbles

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

SOMETIMES WE WONDER HOW SOCIETY COULD HAVE FUNCTIONED BEFORE WE HAD THE INTERNET

A woman from New York recently showed off how a pair of pants that she bought made an embarrassing noise when she bent down. A video she posted to show the pants making the noise apparently clicked with users and it quickly went viral.

(Thanks to John Lobert, Emily, Leslie and w, and pharmaross)

SO IT'S MONDAY...

...and perhaps you are not looking forward to the work week. If that's the case, you might take some comfort in this song by Mac McAnally, a pretty darned wonderful songwriter.

(Thanks to Mr. Greg Iles for sending me this link.)

October 18, 2020

WHAT'S THAT GLOW?

You can visit a theme park in Germany - built in a former nuclear power plant

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IN THAT CASE, SIR...

Palacios told a deputy the Porsche 911 Turbo is a fast car and cannot go slow after “burning out” pulling away from a stoplight and reaching speeds over 100 mph.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

The Lyon County Sheriff’s Office arrested a man after he was found living in the ceiling of the Raley’s grocery store in Fernley.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE SAW DISTURBING TWINKIE OPEN FOR BIG PILE OF EELS

A Disturbing Twinkie That Has, So Far, Defied Science

(Thanks to Ranald Adams and Suzie Q Wacvet)

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

GUY MANAGES TO RUN DOOM ON A GRAPHING CALCULATOR POWERED BY 700 POTATO PIECES

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "If this guy doesn’t deserve a Nobel Prize, nobody does.")

ALSO THE MUSIC IS WORSE

In other words, people today are about 10 percent heavier than people were in the 1980s, even if they follow the exact same diet and exercise plans.

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE WHO

‘Big pile’ of eels dumped in NYC park; impact not yet known

(Thanks to Ralph, Asher Scheiner and vee)

October 17, 2020

NOT UNHINGED AT ALL!

News Anchor Threatens to Murder Alaska Mayor After Their Texting Affair

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "Send her to Washington.")

IN THAT CASE, SIR, PLEASE RESUME POUNDING THE SKINS

Man accused of masturbating in LSU parking lot, claims he was playing 'air drums' in his truck

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

OK, THIS IS BRILLIANT

Florida janitor turns heads with leaf blower-powered vehicle

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

NEVER LET YOUR CHILD PLAY WITH YOUR PHONE

A two-year-old girl sent her mum's nude pictures to contacts in her phone, including former colleagues and university friends.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Escaped cow found trapped on neighbor's trampoline

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T HAVE CABLE TV NEWS

Earth's first mammals took it easy and lived far longer than their modern counterparts

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE KNOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE SATIRE.

But we're not laughing.

(Thanks to keith intampa)

WE USUALLY AVOID POLITICS

...but sometimes you have to take a stand.

IMG_20201016_144244476_BURST000_COVER_TOP

(Thanks to Jane Hollestelle)

EDUCATION REPORT

Pornographic noises heard during Balt Co. school board meeting

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

One in three Brits admit to washing their bedsheets 'just once a year'

(Thanks to Bob Brogan and John Lobert, who says "Whether they need it or not.")

HEH

Vengeful IKEA customers name road near store ‘I’m Missing a Screw Street’

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THERE ARE NO POPSICLES IN THIS DOJO!

Japanese teacher accused of violently assaulting judo students for eating popsicles

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THERE'S STILL TAB?

Coca-Cola is discontinuing Tab after nearly 60 years

(Thanks to The Perts and vee)

October 16, 2020

GUESS WHERE THIS HAPPENED

Woman Rescued From 10ft Python's 'Vice-Like' Grip After Finding Snake in Her Garage

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT CHOICE DID HE HAVE?

Police say man fired shots into Memphis KFC because his order was wrong

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IS ROMANCE DEAD?

Not in Miami.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE ASSUME THEY WERE *HIS* BUTTOCKS

Brazilian senator caught hiding money 'between buttocks'

(Thanks to Mad Hatter, Allen at Division, Le Petomane, Michael Parry and pharmaross)

Related: Man 'walking awkwardly through airport' had 7 gold bars hidden in his bottom

(Thanks to Allen at Division and Michael Parry)

CHRISTMAS IS AROUND THE CORNER

Missouri Man Lists Frozen Discontinued Taco Bell Tacos For Sale at Only $200

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

That odd little laptop-sized electric scooter from Japan is now going global

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, who says "Orthopedic surgeons worldwide are rejoicing.")

CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL

A Profanity Filter Banned the Word 'Bone' at a Paleontology Conference

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, Mad Hatter, Geoff, Le Petomane and Catherine DeLorey)

October 15, 2020

THEY HATE SPAM CALLERS

Cows are more relaxed after being spoken to directly by a live human rather than when listening to a recorded voice via a loudspeaker, researchers found.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

WHEN SENIORS GO BAD

She showed the deputies footage from her ADT surveillance system which showed her standing on the irrigation lid on her property watering her new sod, according to an arrest report. The video showed Lawson mowing his lawn and that he “purposely lifts the rear tires of the mower” and “hitting her on the buttocks,” the deputy wrote in the report.  The woman had “red marks on the right buttocks.”

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CANADA: LAND OF EXCITEMENT

One of Abbotsford’s oldest elevators has been showcased on YouTube.

(Thanks to Roberto)

SOUNDS NON-VEGAN

Queensland Woolworths customer 'bit into and swallowed' dead frog mixed into stir fry salad packet

(Thanks to pharmaross)

OTHERWISE THERE'S NO WAY TO GET AN UBER

NASA funds Nokia plan to provide cellular service on moon

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO GET US TO WATCH ICE HOCKEY ON TV?

This.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

TONY STARK, WE PRESUME

A man flying in a jetpack has been spotted again in the skies over Los Angeles

(Thanks to Matt Filar, vee, Allen at Division and pharmaross)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Horse skeleton seized at Florida mail sorting facility

(Thanks to pharmaross)

A STEAL AT $695

Wanna Buy a Pair of Designer Paint-Splattered Overalls?

(Thanks to Ralph)

FLORIDA DINING REPORT

Incensed over a pair of scathing reviews on Yelp, the owner of a Florida BBQ joint last night allegedly physically attacked his suspected online critic, according to cops who arrested the restaurateur.

(Thanks to Michael Moyer, Roberto, Barry Nester and pharmaross)

October 14, 2020

DEADLY WEAPON

Man charged with assault after farting in Uber

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE IN — NEEDLESS TO SAY — AUSTRALIA

Yellow crazy ants!

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

BOLO

Second giant 'murder hornet' escapes after it was captured by scientists in Washington

(Thanks to Ed. Floden)

 
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