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October 14, 2020

DEADLY WEAPON

Man charged with assault after farting in Uber

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE IN — NEEDLESS TO SAY — AUSTRALIA

Yellow crazy ants!

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

BOLO

Second giant 'murder hornet' escapes after it was captured by scientists in Washington

(Thanks to Ed. Floden)

IF THIS ISN’T A POLICE EMERGENCY, WE FRANKLY DON’T KNOW WHAT IS

At 9:50 p.m. Oct. 8, a Lyndhurst woman, 50, called police to report that Chipotle Mexican Grill, 24369 Cedar Road, would not sell her chips from the online pickup line.

(Thanks to Steven)

IF YOU DON'T REGULARLY CHECK ENGRISH.COM

...you really should.

Screen Shot 2020-10-14 at 10.18.51 AM

AND IN SPORTS

Blindfolded man smashes 50 coconuts around another man's body

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE COWSILLS

Oregon state trooper wrangles ‘displeased’ llama on I-84

We assume you already know that the llama was released after producing a valid Florida driver's license.

(Thanks to Larry Martell)

THE PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS THEY HIRE KEEP MYSTERIOUSLY DYING

Washington state again fails to live-track murder hornet

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

Cow dung ‘chip’ reduces radiation from mobiles: Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog chief

(Thanks to Ralph)

GRAVE MARKER OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the Grave Marker of the Week So Far.

(Thanks to Eddie)

 
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