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October 08, 2020

TERRORISM UPDATE

Postman says he’s being terrorised by customer’s sex-mad duck on his rounds

(Thanks to pharmaross and Ralph)

WELL IN THAT CASE, MA'AM

After admitting to taking Xanax, Graney said the drugs weren't to blame for her lack of clothes.

Graney: It's not about that. It's seriously a lifestyle. It doesn't have anything to do with drugs. It's not because of drugs, but lifestyle.

Police: To be unclothed? Is that what you're saying? It's more of a lifestyle than a drug thing? Is that what you're saying?

Graney: Yes.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND BOY WERE HIS LEGS TIRED!

Large Chinese mitten crab crawls into German woman’s home

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

VICTIMS GO TO THE ER 'AFTER HAVING UNSUCCESSFULLY TRIED HOME MANAGEMENT'

Injuries to the penis from zipper entrapment are actually the most common cause of penile trauma in adults, with roughly 2,000 reported cases yearly.

(Thanks to Peter [!] Metrinko)

NOW IT'S SERIOUS

Scotland faces temporary booze ban as virus rules ramp up

(Thanks to "Temporary, as in it'll last one day before there are riots.")

WHEN LIBRARY EMPLOYEES GO BAD

Former library employee accused of stealing over $1.3M in printer toner

(Thanks to DaninDallas, who says "Copy that!")

YIKES

Drone alerts surfer as great white shark circles him off Australia coast, video shows

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD SAY THIS, BUT...

...people need to stop getting naked.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

WAIT... DENTAL SCHOOL 'PRACTICE ROBOT?'

This is a terrifying video of a malfunctioning dental school practice robot

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AND IN SPORTS

San Jose's Joey Chestnut Destroys an ‘Epic' 12-Pound Walking Taco for Fun

(Thanks to vee)

 
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