WHERE DO WE START?

What's the matter with the Universe?

(Thanks to Steve K.)

Comments

[Clankie]

" So how exactly do you weigh the Universe? "

...And how do you keep from flying off the handle, bawling like a banshee and stomping on the scale until it breaks ?

[Rod Nunley]

I think we already knew the universe is one big cluster.

[cfjk]

That's dark & twisted.

[Herkimer]

Your missing 1.3% is composed mainly of lost socks.

[pharmaross]

Most ass-tronomers agree there is a crack in Uranus leading to a profusion of matter escaping a black hole beyond the dark side of the moon that could wipe us out leaving the universal cosmic balance in arrears.

[snookems]

Wll there you have it, Dark Matter matters.

[Le Petomane]

"In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
-Douglas Adams

[clio]

kudos to the commenters here, I think this comment stream a contender for best/cleverest ever.

[Flathead County Frank]

When matter really matters is when you're stuck living on some matter. As sometimes happens, antimatter happens. Then the party is definitely over. So take care of the matter you have and don't ask whats the matter because it might be antimatter and that would be very bad for the matter you're standing on.

[cfjk]

Most of the unseen matter is just vast quantities of fried chicken embryos & beer.

[The Squirrel Whisperer]

I won't believe in Dark Matter until I see a picture of it.

[fractalist]

Oh dear! What can the matter be?
Dear, dear! What can the matter be?
Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
Johnny's so long at the fair

Although I preferred Frank's explanation the best...

[Steve K.]

... we are headed for a 'Big Freeze' ... " Time to buy more plywood.

[PG-13 Wodehouse]

What's the matter with the Universe?
There are people in it who put pineapple on pizza.

[Ms. Flukey]

"Florida"

[PirateBoy, Stargazing]

In spite of visiting the UC Riverside campus dozens of times, I was unaware they had an astronomy department, much less a scale large enough to weigh the entire universe!

[Mad Hatter]

The first bowl of oatmeal with too little matter had too few clusters. The second bowl of oatmeal with too much matter had too many clusters. The third bowl of oatmeal with just the right amount of matter had just the right amount of clusters.