« August 2020 | Main

September 25, 2020

A FLORIDA LICENSE

...is en route via drone.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

LAWMAKERS IN ACTION

A legislator in Argentina’s lower house of congress has been forced to resign after he was seen kissing his girlfriend’s bare breasts during an online congressional debate.

(Thanks to Jim Perth, Jay Brandes and pharmaross)

Japanese politician caught watching crocodile video in parliament meeting finally explains himself

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHEREAS THE BACK LAWN IS TOTALLY LEGAL

Two drunk women, one naked, charged for fighting on front lawn

(Thanks to John Lobert)

MIRACLE MOOSE

He runs on water.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

We're guessing it's fake. But it's amusing.

TURN OFF THOSE CEILING FANS

Ring’s latest security camera is a drone that flies around inside your house

(Thanks to John Lobert, who asks "What could possibly go wrong?")

FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS

Costco Is Already Selling An Advent Calendar Full Of Beer

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

APPARENTLY THEY DON'T READ THE WARNING LABELS

Vaping while pregnant found to have potential impact on prenatal brain development in zebrafish

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

THIS BLOG HAS STOPPED WEARING THEM

Will Working From Home Kill the Bra Forever?

(Thanks to Steve K., who notes "sagging sales figures")

GUESS THE CONTINENT

Woman finds venomous snake in her glove compartment

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Related: Snake Visits Beauty Store in Kentucky

(Thanks to The Perts)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, PLEASE DRIVE ON

Man driving stolen construction machinery in Keys tells deputies, ‘I like it’

(Thanks to pharmaross)

September 24, 2020

WHOA

Pregnant woman jumps into water, saves husband from shark attack near Florida

(Thanks to Jeffrey Meyerson, who says -- and he is not referring to sharks -- "Do not mess with them.")

AND IN HOCKEY

Neighbor calls police on Lightning fans screaming ‘shoot’

(Thanks to Ralph)

WELL DUH

RCMP investigating man reportedly hiking nude on Summerland’s Full Frontal trail

(Thanks to Ralph)

MARTHA STEWART UPDATE

Dude.

(Thanks to wiredog)

AUTHORITIES WERE TOLD THE ROOM CONTAINED 'SENSITIVE SUPPLIES'

Three Metro-North Railroad employees were suspended after Metropolitan Transportation Authority investigators discovered they'd created a “man cave,” complete with a flat-screen television and a beer-stocked refrigerator, in a storage room beneath Grand Central Terminal.

(Thanks to John Lobert and Mike)

'AN APOLOGY WAS LATER DAUBED ON THE WALL IN BROWN PEN'

Environmental enforcement speak to Brighton diarrhoea suspect

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

At least they're assuming it was brown pen.

THEY SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Florida man suing McDonald's, claims he was injured by Chicken McNugget

(Thanks to John Lobert and Le Petomane)

IT WAS ON THE TONIGHT SHOW

Illinois man keeps sandwich Richard Nixon half-ate 60 years ago

(Thanks to MOTW)

AND IN SPORTS

Two men are hit with felony charges for cheating in Utah fishing contest after forensic analysis of winning fish proved it came from another lake

(Thanks to Geoff)

SURE IT IS

New Jersey is most physically and mentally fit state, report says

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BUT... WHY?

Man steals cat blood from Florida clinic, deputies say

(Thanks to Barry Nester, pharmaross and Le Petomane)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Firefighters battle blaze from 22-ton pile of chicken poop

(Thanks to Ralph, pharmaross and John Lobert)

HEY, THEY WASHED THEM FIRST

Vietnamese factory busted recycling hundreds of thousands of used condoms

(Thanks to Andrew MacIntyre and pharma "Not Suzie Q Wacvet" ross)

INSERT YOUR 'BONAPARTE' JOKE HERE

The Journey of Napoleon’s Penis

(Thanks to Suzie Q "Not pharmaross" Wacvet)

September 23, 2020

YET ANOTHER LINK YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT TO CLICK ON

...can be found here.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

OTHER THAN THAT HE WAS CLEAN

In searching Riojas and the bag he they say he tossed away, police say they found 3 different cell phones, brass knuckles, a pill cutter, $240 in counterfeit currency marked “prop only”, well over a hundred blue oxycodone pills laced with fentanyl, 9 suboxone strips, two pipes, a scale, numerous knives, and some suspicious checks.

Police say they also discovered that Riojas had felony warrants for a DOC violation, possession of heroin, and identity theft.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

DEAR ARACHNOPHOBES:

Don’t click on this.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ANOTHER THING NOT TO DO IN AUSTRALIA:

Camping.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SEND THIS PENSIONER TO WASHINGTON

Pensioner wiped out village’s broadband for 18 months by turning on old TV

(Thanks to Prairie Cynic and Allen at Division)

IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE, YOU CAN’T MAKE IT EVERYWHERE

MTA board to formally ban pooping in subways and buses

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner and Jeff Meyerson)

September 22, 2020

THAT WAS NO MAN. THAT WAS A LARGE SQUIRREL.

A man dressed in a chipmunk outfit robbed a Ville Platte pharmacy at gunpoint over the weekend.

(Thanks to Ralph)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE NEW YORK POST:

Robert Kraft likely to get off in Florida massage parlor case

(Thanks to pharmaross and Kevin Meerschaert)

‘DEFO SPIDER POO’

Cleaning fan asks what the black dots which have mysteriously appeared in her kitchen are & is horrified by the answer

(Thanks to John Lobert)

REPRESENTED, WE ASSUME, BY A NON-IMAGINARY LAWYER

Man who took clothes off to keep imaginary snakes from attacking him appears in court

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CSI: DUNFERMLINE

Dunfermline man exposed his buttocks to his neighbours shouting: 'Take a photo of this!'

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WELCOME HOME!

Snake lands on Mississippi woman as she opens her front door

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CANADA: A NATION OUT OF CONTROL

Fergus, Ont., woman fined $25K for illegally importing hundreds of doses of bovine semen

(Thanks to Allen at Division and pharmaross)

TIME TO GET A REAL JOB, RESEARCHERS

Researchers from the University of Bristol used a behavioural test on lab rats that measures their emotional experience while tickling them and listening for squeaks.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

AND IN SPORTS

Parrot interrupts Brazilian soccer practice, lands on player's head

(Thanks to Ralph)

IF YOU DINE AT WAFFLE HOUSE...

...be sure to pay your bill.

(Thanks to Geoff)

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER, PEOPLE

Watch 10,000 snail-eating ducks 'clean' a rice paddy

(Thanks to Dave N., who says "They opened the tour for the Yardbirds, I think.")

September 21, 2020

BEAR IN MIND THEY'RE GUCCIS

Would you buy $1,400 overalls — with fake grass stains?

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A FUN PARTY

12 injured after hydrogen-filled balloons explode during Indian PM’s birthday

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Moral: Hydrogen is not the same thing as helium.

OR YOU COULD JUST, YOU KNOW, KICK THE TIRES

A 30-year-old Norwich driver who hit speeds in excess of 100 mph before hitting several trees and rolling a car on the highway reportedly told police she wanted to “test the capabilities” of the vehicle.

(Thanks to John Gebler, pharmaross and John Lobert)

A NATION ON THE BRINK OF TOTAL ANARCHY

Canadian police make arrests as tempers flare in lobster feud

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

To be clear: The Canadians' tempers are flaring, not the lobsters'.

PERFECT

Carson Wentz gets booed despite Eagles having no fans in the stadium

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

WAIT... *WE'RE* SUPPOSED TO WORRY ABOUT *THEM?*

Every autumn, mature male tarantulas start on their quest to find a mate, exposing them to many dangers such as hawks and skunks, cars on the road, and people.

(Thanks to Ralph)

NOW WE'LL NEVER SOLVE THE TRICKY TRIANGLE

Cracker Barrel adds alcohol to its menu for the first time in company history

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FITNESS UPDATE

Coregasms?

(Thanks to Andrew MacIntyre)

FLORIDA LEADS THE WAY

Strip clubs in Jacksonville lobby to lower age limit for dancers to 18

(Thanks to pharmaross)

 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise