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September 15, 2020

'DO NOT USE AS A CHOPPING BOARD'

Dunelm shopper baffled by chopping board sticker saying he can't actually use it

We're guessing lawyers were involved.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

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Warning stickers designed by idjits.

Okay, but will it enable the user to fly?

Do not return this chopping board. Call +86-47-62-44433378000-800-7 (some toll charges may apply) for technical assistance if help assembling chopping board is required. It usually is if you plan to chop on it. Also, see very interesting quick start guide located on the web by googling, Never buy anything made in China, especially food and chopping boards. Dispose of chopping boards properly. Throw it in the trash immediately after unpacking. See our full line of cheap junk kitchen utensils at Dollar Tree.

The world's dullest cleaver?

This is how they bait you into buying one of their deluxe chopping boards whose stickers approve them for such use.

And it's illegal to remove the tag.

A member of the Dunelm team replied to debunk the mystery: "Hi Becks, I am very sorry to see you have noticed our error on our chopping board label, please be advised we are aware of this error and this has been raised to our merchandising team."

I'm sure they will remedy the error by adding a 12-page user manual which, once digested, can be boiled down to, "Do not use chopping board as a chopping board".

5* Snork@ man tom for a much needed, spot-on laugh.

Paging anthony stewart...I think you need to weigh in on this.

if you are a frantic shopper
watch out for the chopping chopper
please to not use it for your use

for instructions in plain English
or maybe even Spanglish
never worry it will always be obtuse

so when shopping watch your manners
just ignore those evil planners
they're just afraid to turn you loose

But wait! There's more! Along with your chopper you receive a 24 piece set of razor sharp Ginsu knives, an all-purpose blender for those delicious kale/brussel sprout smoothies and an autographed picture of Andy Devine!

(I'll get back on the geezer bus now)

@anthony stewart - LOL! Tears in my eyes and a stitch in my side from laughing so hard. Oh gosh. Life is good again. Thanks!

@anthony stewart -> Bravo!!

Obviously mislabeled.
Correct usage would be to place 'cutting board' on windowsill, then place a small flower pot preferably with a petunia plant on said 'board' and wait for the whale to crash land.

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