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September 19, 2020


Do ye know what day it be, me hearties? Aye, it be the day we scallywags be abusin' grammar an' syntax in th' name o' International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Here be our original column, mateys. An' here be a bunch o' newscasters attemptin' to talk like pirates last year on TLAPD. An' here be a comely TV wench explainin' how to talk like a pirate. (Them last two links be thanks to pharmaross.)


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Aargh, Shiver me timbers! Another year be slipped thru and me be just spending the whole thing perched in the crow's nest, again. Starting to really miss the pillaging.

AHOY! What say ye, mateys (maties?) - I say we can enjoy ourselves this day and ferget about coronavirus and politics (which sometimes seems like the same thing).

Aye come with me, ye scurvy lads
we’ll plunder the Spanish main
with cannon and cutlass we’ll cut ‘em down
Ye never be landlubbers again

Ye’ll swab the deck, you’ll drink of grog
me hearties, a pirate ye’ll be
on the Dutchman you’ll fly thru rain or fog
to sail the seven seas

When we reach the gates of Hell
you know you’ve had your chance
And I know ye’ve served me well
Ye can play the hornpipe and dance

Arrr. Glad to see the scurvy news wench gave credit where it's due, to Dave. Can't believe I forgot it again, even though I know it is two days after my wife's birthday.


Peg Leg McStubby


Here's to all and sundry gettin' their timbers shivered.

Cap'n Jack Read

Ahoy ye maties!

This year, as we shiver ye timbers with covid-19 in this scurvy pandemic, all ye rowdy lads & lasses can substitute ye covid masks and wear'em as pirate eye patches ye hardy buccaneers!

Avast ye & all hands ahoy.


Here's to comely wenches ! ( Drains flagon of rum )





I am horrible at talking like a pirate as you can see from my idea of talking like a Pirate. I am pathetic at it, too.





Mel Brooks should do the movie: "Jewish Pirates of the Caribbean": https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00L6JD6G4/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

International Talk Like A Pirate Day is being cheapened with crass commercialization. Before you know it, they'll do the same thing with Christmas...


Can't say it often enough, mate. Thanks for taking our tiny, silly idea and launching into the stratosphere!

@anthony stewart - Very well-played, Captain Cook!

A cameo appearance by Cap'n Dave...


My own holiday, and I missed it? Sorry, I was busy trying to learn R.

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