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September 21, 2020

BEAR IN MIND THEY'RE GUCCIS

Would you buy $1,400 overalls — with fake grass stains?

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A FUN PARTY

12 injured after hydrogen-filled balloons explode during Indian PM’s birthday

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Moral: Hydrogen is not the same thing as helium.

OR YOU COULD JUST, YOU KNOW, KICK THE TIRES

A 30-year-old Norwich driver who hit speeds in excess of 100 mph before hitting several trees and rolling a car on the highway reportedly told police she wanted to “test the capabilities” of the vehicle.

(Thanks to John Gebler, pharmaross and John Lobert)

A NATION ON THE BRINK OF TOTAL ANARCHY

Canadian police make arrests as tempers flare in lobster feud

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

To be clear: The Canadians' tempers are flaring, not the lobsters'.

PERFECT

Carson Wentz gets booed despite Eagles having no fans in the stadium

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

WAIT... *WE'RE* SUPPOSED TO WORRY ABOUT *THEM?*

Every autumn, mature male tarantulas start on their quest to find a mate, exposing them to many dangers such as hawks and skunks, cars on the road, and people.

(Thanks to Ralph)

NOW WE'LL NEVER SOLVE THE TRICKY TRIANGLE

Cracker Barrel adds alcohol to its menu for the first time in company history

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FITNESS UPDATE

Coregasms?

(Thanks to Andrew MacIntyre)

FLORIDA LEADS THE WAY

Strip clubs in Jacksonville lobby to lower age limit for dancers to 18

(Thanks to pharmaross)

2020 KEEPS ON 2020-ING

U.S. has ‘out of control’ population of ‘super-pigs,’ expert says

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

PRESUMABLY THE DRIVER ALREADY HAS A FLORIDA COMMERCIAL LICENSE

It takes skill to park these big rigs.

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(Thanks to pharmaross)

DEPARTMENT OF THINGS THAT ONLY GUYS DO

Here's another example.

(Thanks to Stephen M.)

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER CAN OF RAID

"We have 60 small rooms. There are 20 million cockroaches in each room. In total there are 1 billion cockroaches," farm manager Yin Diansong tells me.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

CSI: ROCHDALE

"Male phoned requesting help as his girlfriend had locked him in some handcuffs and they couldn't now find the key," the department's tweet said. "Wanted police as he feared the fire brigade would cut them and they were expensive."

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

'Britain's dullest man' unveils the International Roundabout Of The Year

(Thanks to Bob Brogan and Ralph)

Maybe Britain's dullest man would enjoy meeting these folks:

Colorado couple's 20-year search for extinct fruit finally pays off

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

NO IDEA HOW THEY GOT THERE

Rajasthan prisoner complains of pain, X-ray reveals 4 mobile phones in rectum

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Can you hear me now?")

 
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