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August 26, 2020

THEY ARRESTED THE OCTOPUS?

MAN REPORTS OCTOPUS IN TUB, ARRESTED

(Thanks to Ralph)

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Must have been the long arms of the law

"We're going to need 8 ankle monitors for this one, Chauncey."

There's a sucker born every minute.

Was the octopus wearing the mans' pajamas?

Don't click on this link, no really, don't do it I got a redscreen malware warning when I tried.

"Sorry to bother y'all, officers. I had plumb fergot my mother-in-law was visitin'."

So, in lieu of that: A zebra escapes from a local zoo and takes up temporary residence at a local working farm. Z is amazed at how all the animals have jobs to perform, chickens lay eggs, cows provide milk etc, but is unable to determine what job the large bull, isolated in his own coral provides, Finally, Z asks the bull what his job is and the bull responds:"Just take off those fancy pajamas and I'll show you!"

Le Pet, I was waiting for you to write like Joe Friday. (please?)

Only In Kentucky

Octopus’s hands (legs) must have been tired. It is a long way from the closest shore.

I had to check - How many arms does an octopus have? Only six - the other two are legs, say scientists.

There are some hockey fans who will take the culprit.

MOTW--Here you go---

Frank and I were working night shift for the Salersville police. Things are done different in Kentucky than California. When the government stopped letting us arrest or shoot bad guys, we had no choice but to move on.

We had a call there was an endangered cephalopod stuck in a bathroom drain. We hit the lights and siren and headed off Code three, only stopping for some decent coffee. It was great getting a decent cup of joe for a change. That California latte de-caff crap is awful.

Where we were from, an octopus stuck in a drain simply meant free sushi. They apparently get upset about things like this in Kentucky.
The caller met us at the door. He had round bloodshot eyes along with a three day beard, wearing a ragged bathrobe and dragging a towel. Nothing abnormal.
He kept ranting about tentacles writhing out his bathtub drain. This was our first clue this guy was high as a tree full of monkeys on laughing gas. Every cop knows snakes and octopus come up in a toilet.

There was obvious drug stuff laying about but Frank and I were rather burned out on hauling perps to jail only to have some judge let them out before our shift was over.

We let him of with a warning not to mess with invisible endangered species and drove back to the station with lights and siren. We didn't need to do that, but Frank likes to operate the siren and Frank needs to be humored nowadays. Trust me on this.

@Le Pet - ROTFLWTIME! Bravo and many thanks!

@Le Petomane - If you find your doorstep strewn with imaginary rose petals the next time you go out, they're from me.

Fun fact: When Prince Charles was here in Japan several decades ago, The Japan Times quoted him as saying octopus sushi tasted like "chopped up rubber hose."

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