« July 2020 | Main | September 2020 »

August 31, 2020

WELL IN THAT CASE, SIR

Oklahoma man detained for hitting Taco Bell drive-thru naked, claims clothes were in washer

Pretty Damn Legal-Sounding Defense: “He reportedly said he didn't know it was illegal to drive naked.”

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, who says “He'd better be careful with that hot sauce.”)

BUT ALSO STICKIER

People who eat peanut butter for breakfast are better in bed, study claims

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE STAND WITH THEM

Disney Workers Fought For The Right To Have Their Own Underpants

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE NEWS FROM ORLEANS

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the News from Orleans. (Note that we are also not making note of the byline.)

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IF YOU GO TO RUSSIA:

Do NOT fall asleep.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

YIKES

Taiwan toddler entangled in kite tail goes airborne at festival

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Let's go fly a kite, kid.")

HO HUM

Border Patrol seized over $1 million worth of cocaine after it washed up on a Florida beach

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING

America Is Facing a Monkey Shortage

(Thanks to wiredog)

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IF -- AND BEFORE YOU SAY IT'S UNLIKELY, REMEMBER, THIS IS 2020 -- A POLAR BEAR ATTACKS YOU

Get naked

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AT LEAST WEAR PROTECTION

Yellowstone warns visitors not to get mixed up in elk mating season

(Thanks to John Lobert and vee)

August 30, 2020

NAH

Researchers say that taking frozen microbiome capsules created from one’s own feces after dieting may help prevent lost pounds from returning.

(Thanks to John Criswell, Le Petomane and Al Barkafski)

'I'M THE ONLY CANDIDATE WHO HAS RELEASED THEIR DENTAL RECORDS'

Vermin Supreme, the perennial presidential candidate who wears a boot on his head and promises every American a free pony, is mounting a write-in campaign for the U.S. Senate in Massachusetts.

(Thanks to Ralph)

You know where this blog stands.

DB and Vermin Supreme

August 29, 2020

SWELL

Murder hornets and drunken wasps find ‘perfect breeding ground’

(Thanks to Bill Rudersdorf, who says "And there’s plenty of 2020 to go!") 

THEY IMPLANTED ELON MUSK'S BRAIN IN A PIG?

Elon Musk's brain implant is working -- in pigs

(Thanks to see)

HE'S IN NEBRASKA

Torn flag in David City believed to be work of Bigfoot

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

THE WEATHER ABROAD

The rain seems to be picking up.

(Thanks to John Lobert and Unholy Slacker, who says "better wear protection.")

THOSE MUST BE REALLY TINY SMARTPHONES

Using smartphones, tablets at night may worsen sperm quality in men

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

'I USED TO DO YOGA AND I WAS A CHEERLEADER GROWING UP'

Flight attendant flips upside-down, closes overhead compartment with her heels in viral video

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

DO ANTS HAVE EARS?

Musicians perform for ants after COVID-19 cancels festivals

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

SOUNDS... EXCITING!

A New York-based developer's new video game takes a new twist on the concept of a flight simulator by offering the realistic experience of taking a long commercial flight in economy class.

(Thanks to Ralph)

YOU KNOW WHO GAVE THE ORDER TO THE CHICKEN

Man says he crashed his car into a KZN house because a chicken crossed the road

(Thanks to John Lobert and Ralph)

August 28, 2020

WAIT... JUST MEN?

Men Urged to Limit Alcohol to One Drink a Day Amid New Concerns

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT DOES

But we want one.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

WE NEED TO EVACUATE AUSTRALIA IMMEDIATELY

Queensland woman’s toilet filled with snakes

(Thanks to John Lobert)

RUSSIAN GUYS IN ACTION

YouTuber combines 10,000 liters of Coca-Cola with baking soda to explosive effect

(You can skip to about the 17:00 mark.)

America is losing the arms race.

(Thanks to Ralph)

CSI: AKRON

Phallic-shaped meat prompts police investigation

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and John Lobert)

August 27, 2020

DEAR SCIENTISTS:

Please stop doing studies.

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

'THE PICTURES DON'T DO THE SMELL JUSTICE'

40,000 Pounds Of Chicken Poop Spilled On Interstate 70 After Semi Rollover

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WE ASSUME THE MOVIE WAS 'CRASH'

Tesla on autopilot hits police car as driver watches movie on cellphone

(Thanks to John Lobert, coscolo and Le Petomane)

WHO'S THERE?

Watch An Escaped Wheel Ring Someone's Doorbell At About 40 MPH

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "The wheel had a valid etc.")

GOD AGREES

Groom admits ‘2020 has not been the best year’ seconds before terrifying lightning strike interrupts vows

(Thanks to John Lobert)

CIVIL SERVANTS HARD AT WORK

Government worker caught having sex with secretary during Zoom call

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

ATTENTION, SINGLES

Currently unemployed and not in a relationship...

Advisory: You will deeply regret clicking on the link.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

The families who dig up their dead relatives to put fresh clothes on them, have a hug... and even share a cigarette

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

JUST STOP, 2020

Sex-crazed giant house spiders 'the size of your hand' are invading UK homes now

(Thanks to Doug Shedd and Stephen M.)

August 26, 2020

DUDE

The Warsaw zoo said Wednesday it will start giving its elephants medical marijuana as part of a ground-breaking pilot project to test how it reduces their stress levels.

(Thanks to Andrew MacIntyre, who says "Big bongs needed.")

HE ALREADY HAS A FLORIDA LICENSE

Whatever the case, the man’s choice Aug. 16 to look at his teeth in the mirror while behind the wheel of a Honda Accord appears to have been a poor one, according to an arrest affidavit.

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

THIS IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF NEWS

Fish bites angler

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

WE STAND WITH THIS MAN

French minister defends 'precious' right to sunbathe topless

(Thanks to many people)

HEINOUS

Burglar steals nothing, leaves behind deer antlers at Timaru crime scene

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THEY ARRESTED THE OCTOPUS?

MAN REPORTS OCTOPUS IN TUB, ARRESTED

(Thanks to Ralph)

PRACTICAL

This is a video of Youtuber discussing and building the Stickler, a hot glue gun (complete with proton pack) that can shoot up to thirty feet, then using it to glue a toilet and anvil to the side of his Subaru.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING

UFO hunter astounded to find a 'squirrel' in NASA's official photos of Mars

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

'CASH FALLING OUT OF HIS PANTS'

Man who stole $33K during burglary falls from ceiling before arrest, deputies say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

August 25, 2020

IT'S A GOOD LOOK

Woman Accidentally Dyes Cat Yellow After Applying Turmeric Treatment

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAA

The victim said he got into a heated argument with Danielle Kish Whitt over him making toast instead of rolls for breakfast, according to the sheriff’s office report. The victim said to avoid confrontation, he went into his bedroom and started watching a video of a half-naked woman on his phone. He said Whitt came into the bedroom, observed him watching the video and punched him in the chest out of anger, the report said.

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "It always starts with toast vs rolls and escalates into conflict over watching hot buns.")

YOU FIRST

Please remain calm while the robot swabs your nose

(Thanks to Le Petomane and pharmaross)

'BROKINIS'

Ever wonder what the male version of a bikini might look like? Well, look no further because two guys from Toronto are here to bring you bikinis for men.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT

Did Eating Human Poop Play a Role in the Evolution of Dogs?

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

JUST WHAT WE NEED

Florida researchers catch new 100-pound alligator snapping turtle species

Looks like it would make a fun pet.

(Thanks to The Perts and Rick Day)

 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise