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August 14, 2020

IT'S 'FAIRLY BIG AND SURPRISINGLY ROOMY'

Five Strange Things You Need To Know About Uranus

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SURVIVAL TECHNIQUE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Motorcycle Rally Goer Survives Wild Bison Attack Because Her Pants Fell Off

(Thanks to Alert Reader Brent Schindele)

AND IT DID THIS WITH A SEAL IN ITS MOUTH

Great White Shark Jumps 15 Feet Through The Air As The Highest Ever Water Breach Is Recorded In South Africa

(Thanks to John Lobert)

HOW WEIRD IS THE INTERNET?

Very, very weird.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Michael Moyer)

WE HAVE LOST OUR MINDS

Special bridges installed so red squirrels can cross the road safely in Northumberland

(Thanks to Ralph)

LOOKING FOR A UNIQUE GIFT?

How about... lion poo?

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

THIS IS TOTALLY THE RIGHT YEAR FOR THIS

Pentagon to launch task force to investigate UFO sightings

(Thanks to John Leask and Le Petomane)

August 13, 2020

WE CAN'T BELIEVE THERE ARE SEVEN ROADS AHEAD OF I-95 IN MIAMI

The 25 Most Dangerous Roads in the U.S.

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

THIS MAY BE THE SADDEST THING WE HAVE EVER READ

For a few dollars, Ms. Edwards purchased two JetBlue -branded snack packs that included crackers, cheese and dried fruit. Her family ate the snacks one night, when instead of being in Australia, they were waiting out the pandemic at their home in Kalamazoo, Mich.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

RAISE YOUR HAND. NO, THE OTHER ONE.

Today is Left Handers Day.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

This blog happens to be left-handed. We wrote a column about it once. 

WE SHOULD ALL HAVE THESE

Eyes painted on cow butts thwart lion attacks

(Thanks to Rance Boren)

AW

Tarantula named 'Lil Kim' loses all hair on its butt due to physical stress caused by illegal pet trafficking

(Thanks to pharmaross and Roberto, who says ""Time for a benefit concert.")

GUYS OF NATURE

Male Brazilian frog stays loyal to two females in 'harem'

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

THE CHAIR CAN LEGALLY DRIVE IN FLORIDA

Tennessee woman renews license online, but ID arrives with picture of empty chair

(Thanks to many people, several of whom made Neil Diamond references)

JUST WHAT WE NEED

Researchers find a chemical that makes locusts swarm

(Thanks to DaninDallas, who says "Fun at parties.")

HAVE ANOTHER SLICE OF PIZZA

Overweight Chinese man’s big belly saves him from falling down a well

(Thanks to Doug Off)

WE'RE VOTING FOR ACCORDION

Is Our Solar System Shaped Like a Croissant or a Jumbo Shrimp?

(Thanks to Ralph)

August 12, 2020

GUESS THE STATE

FIREWORKS

Update: Those who guessed South Carolina are correct. This is a state where the largest industry appears to be selling fireworks to people from North Carolina and Georgia. This particular fireworks store was part of South of the Border, a major tourist attraction on I-95. (We are using "major" in the sense of "creepy.")

'IN 48 YEARS I HAVE NEVER SEEN AN EMU'

An emu was running loose through Paterson

(Thanks to Jeffrey Meyerson, who notes that it was released after producing a valid Florida driver's license.)

SHE DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE SAID NO

Stunt actor proposes while on fire

(Thanks to maryann and pharmaross)

HANDY ON LADIES' NIGHT

Hungry Worms Can Toggle Their Sex by Activating a Single Genetic Switch

(Thanks to pharmaross)

INSTEAD THEY'RE GOING WITH A TICK

Mississippi rejects state flag featuring giant mosquito

(Thanks to Doug Ogg, Ralph and The Perts)

August 11, 2020

OOPS

Man accidentally streams Pornhub for family instead of playing music

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

'MAYBE'

A Florida man who admittedly had “maybe a little too much to drink” was caught on dash camera video riding a lawn mower on a highway, according to the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.

(Thanks to pharmaross, DaninDallas and Not My Usual Alias)

AMEN

Gabola church 'connects with God by drinking alcohol'

(Thanks to wired)

WE KNOW EXACTLY WHY, AND IT RHYMES WITH 'FQUIRRELS'

Have you spotted a satellite dish on a beaver lodge? Here's why it's happening

(Thanks to The Perts and Ralph)

HAPPENS TO US ALL THE TIME

Florida man tells cops he was gifted pants by passerby after drugs found in pockets

(Thanks to pharmaross)

August 10, 2020

OLYMPIC MEMORY

Eight years ago yesterday, this blog and this blog's daughter, Sophie, were part of a team representing San Marino (which is an actual country) (we think) in the International Rock Paper Scissors championships, which were held in a London pub during the 2012 Olympics (a major sporting event). Here's our column on this event, and here's a blog post by Richard Gottfried, who, with his wife, Emily, made up the rest of the San Marino squad. We finished fourth. It was definitely one of the highlights of our life. Or at least of that evening. 

ANOTHER DAY...

Couple finds 6-foot-long snake in their toilet

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ALSO WHEN THE KIDS ARE AWAKE

Glowing worms have less sex when the lights are on

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS

Higher Flows on Butt Creek

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HOMEOWNER HEADACHE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

"Honey, there's something on the roof."

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

IF I CAN MAKE IT THERE...

...I might find myself in the subway with a snake.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and pharmaross)

GUYS IN ACTION

South Korean YouTuber sets private parts on fire during gaming livestream, gets 2nd-degree burns

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE NEED THE DEATH PENALTY

Blazing Saddles Is Being Remade as an Animated Samurai Movie About Cats and Dogs

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Semi-Related: New dating app for cat lovers launches on International Cat Day

(Thanks to John Lobert)

FINALLY, A BRIGHT SPOT IN THIS DREARY WORLD

It's... MulletFest 2020!

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

August 09, 2020

OPEN THREAD

This is not a topic, but: If you’re looking for a good documentary series and you have Netflix, consider Cheer. It’s excellent. 

MEANWHILE ABROAD

A large group of deranged camels has been terrorizing local villagers in Russia’s Astrakhan region after a pensioner released them onto the surrounding steppe.

We saw them open for the Cowsills.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUESS THE STATE

Man Jailed For Alleged Felony Slurpee Battery

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ITS NATURAL HABITAT

Florida woman finds python in her laundry machine

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'THIS IS NOT OK'

Hasbro is removing Trolls doll from stores amid complaints that button is inappropriately placed

(Thanks to pharmaross and Jim Kiehne)

NOBODY EVEN NOTICED

Plane makes emergency landing on Florida expressway

(Thanks to Geoff)

BUT NOT ALL AT ONCE

Spain’s former king Juan Carlos had nearly 5,000 lovers, says retired colonel

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

August 08, 2020

YUM

Glow-in-the-dark sushi.

Name We Are Not Amused By: Jessada Denduangboripant, associate professor of biology at Chulalongkorn University

(Thanks to Ralph)

THE REMAINDERS ARE READY

A US version of the Eurovision Song Contest is to take place next year, organisers have announced.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

August 07, 2020

OPEN THREAD

Let's be careful out there.

GUYS IN ACTION

This is a video from Tagum City, Davao del Norte, Philippines, of a driver who MacGyver’d himself a manual windshield wiper system after the existing system’s motor went out.

Hey, it works.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GEEZER ALERT: Who remembers certain old car models that had windshield wipers powered by vacuum, rather than electric, motors, so when it rained really hard you tended to drive faster to make the wipers go faster?

This blog, that's who.

PUTTING THE 'WILD' IN WILDERNESS

Vehicle spotted driving down stairs near front lobby of 'Wilderness Lodge' at Walt Disney World

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

A THREE-HOUR TOUR....

Three men have been rescued from a tiny Pacific island after writing a giant SOS sign in the sand that was spotted from above, authorities say.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THEY THOUGHT IT MEANT 'FEATHER'

Beer brand and leather store unwittingly named after Māori word for 'pubic hair'

(Thanks to The Perts and Jeff Meyerson)

 
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