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July 30, 2020


The Pentagon wants a new nuke because it might fire off the old ones by mistake

(Thanks to jensen in Oregon)


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Yeah, if our missiles are going to have technical problems, we certainly want the to be destructive enough.

This is exactly the kind of thing you'd expect if they opened the brothels prematurely.

(Pushes Big Red Button)
(Sound of rocket blasting off)
Did I do that?

I feel the need .. the Need for Speed!

Keeping up with the Joneses.

Is that right Mr. Language Person? It doesn't look right.

"I wonder what would happen if I push this big red button? It's been a long night smokin' weed here in this missile silo. Word is these things are old and might malfunction, let's find out."

The above excerpt was from a personal diary excavated by Andromeda archeologists in the year 2265. The alien's first comment after reading the diary was: "Well: that bomb might have been old, but we know it worked,"

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