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June 28, 2020

GET THEM OUT OF CIVILIAN HANDS

Man charged after throwing doughnuts at officer

(Thanks to Ralph)

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So many jokes here, I'll defer to the group.


Almost forgot:


"According to the probable cause statement, Hamre was intoxicated on some kind of drug."

Meth is a helluva drug.

One can only assume he's determined that feeding the squirrels has just become too dangerous?

..or he was trying to throw his pursuers off the scent-trail?

If there's a next time, try tacos.

"Ossifer, you're arrestin' the wrong man. The guy who sold me those doughnuts said they were 'specially treated to repel cops. He's the bad dude here, not me."

..and as the squirrels win again, the pizza rats are chuckling all the way back to the subway.

Officer: “I notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”

Driver: “I noticed your eyes are glazed over. Have you been eating donuts?”

Officer: “I notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”

Driver: “I noticed your eyes are glazed over. Have you been eating donuts?”

The only time they should be in civilian hands is when moving them from the bag into the civilian mouth. All other uses constitute doughnut abuse and are subject to civil penalties. Or should be.

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