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June 26, 2020

FRIDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

The floor is open.

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I can not express in words how much I enjoyed the pictures posted on the sparkles under the armpit story.

I have tried to verify this all day. Any truth to the rumor the group Alabama is changing their name to Vermont?

I topple your floor.

Aieeeeee!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeXMxuNNlE8

Why don't we discuss the experience of being abducted by aliens ?

Years ago during an early abduction incident, I was in the closet with Sigourney Weaver. Nobody believes me? Except for Emily Ratajkowski who was abducted with me and kept with me in the same bed. For a long time. We had nothing better too do, but...

@ LeDud--If you have been abducted by space aliens or would like to be abducted, I may be able to help.
The local Roswell aliens are currently raising money for various Intergalactic charities and are available to offer discount abductions. Just send me your requests and I'll pass them along.

Never enter an elevator when the floor is open, but when a floor opens often a basketball court then reveals either a hockey rink or an olympic sized swimming pool or just a ceiling closes, so always remember an open floor is suitable for dancing, but an empty floor means the apartment isn't furnished, but when in doubt it's pedal-to-the-metal, so floor it, baby! (I hope this helps) ...Wait, I thought you said the floor was all ours?

Parquet?

Sorry to hear that Florida has such a spike in Covid-19 cases. One frustration is that you can't trust some of the population to follow the rules to wear masks and social distance and wash hands all the time. It is just too bad. Michigan numbers have gone up a bit but the 20-40 years olds seem to think the rules don't apply to them or it infringes on their freedom. I wish they could do something to enforce them to do what they know they should do. Immature they are.

..."Floor is an American doom/sludge metal band from Miami, Florida, U.S. that was formed in 1992 by Steve Brooks, Anthony Vialon and Betty Monteavaro with Brooks and Vialon being the only constant members. The band has released three full length studio albums to date: Floor, Dove and Oblation and one EP: Madonna" (this from the wiki)

Perhaps those youngsters think that the glitter makes them impervious to the plandemic? But trying to lump 20-40ish into a single mind set seems a bit too stereotypical for what I'm seeing out there.

Clankie - I don't want you to think poorly of me, please no thoughts of impurity aimed towards me on your part, but I thought in the best interest of the nation, what's left of it, I should inform you, this just in......... The children of Angelina Jolie have just toppled her.

Not that there's any truth to that rumor, but perhaps "Alabama" should consider calling itself "Furmont", or "All-Banana", or "Fee-Fi-Faux-Nanna", or maybe "Stars-in-Bars" or perhaps "Tennessee-Mississippi Line"?

Now the floor is lava!

Put you hands together for All-Banana.

With the rise in COVID in Florida, North Dakota is having second thoughts about changing its name to North Florida.

Contains language that may be objectionable:
https://news.avclub.com/ben-folds-wrote-a-piano-ballad-about-how-absolutely-fuc-1844181555

My understanding is there are plans already implremented to swith the signs at the border of N Dakota & S Dakota so that every time the Canadians try to invade they'll end up retreating.

'already implemented to switch the signs'

I'm floored by tonight's open thread theme.

Leonard Bernstein explains Western music in about five minutes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt2zubHcER4&t=44s

I audited a two semester course at Rice University's Shepherd School Of Music, it essentially filled in the details of this.

In case of Sonic Attack on your district
Follow these rules
If you are making love, it is imperative to bring all bodies to orgasm simultaneously
Do not waste time blocking your ears
Do not waste time seeking a soundproof shelter
Try to get as far away from the sonic source as possible
Do not panic
(Do not panic)
Use your wheels, it is what they are for
Small babies may be placed inside the special cocoons and should be left, if possible, in shelters
Do not attempt to use your own limbs
If no wheels are available metal, not organic, limbs should be employed whenever possible
Remember, in the case of Sonic Attack, survival means every man for himself
(Himself!)
Statistically more people survive if they think only of themselves
(Only themselves)

Do not attempt to rescue friends, relatives, loved ones
You have only a few seconds to escape use those seconds sensibly or you will inevitably die
Do not panic
(Do not panic)
Think only of yourself
(Only yourself)
Think only of yourself
(Only yourself)

These are the first signs of Sonic Attack:
You will notice small objects, such as ornaments, oscillating
You will notice vibrations in your diaphragm
You will hear a distant hissing in your ears
You will feel dizzy
You will feel the need to vomit
There will be bleeding from orifices
There will be an ache in the pelvic region
You may be subject to fits of hysterical shouting
Or even laughter
These are all sign of imminent Sonic destruction
Your only protection is flight
If you are less than ten years old remain in the shelters and use your cocoon
Remember: you can help no-one else
(No-one else)
You can help no-one else
(No-one else)
Do not panic
(Do not panic)
Do not panic
(Do not panic)
Think only of yourself
(Only yourself)
Think only of yourself
(Only of yourself)
Think only of yourself
(Only yourself)
Think only of yourself

@man tom - I prefer The Banana Splits

Mrkhh: Only with really good ice cream and a cherry on top!

As for the TV version, I'd recommend used them for target practice. Especially Snork.

What would make this open discussion complete would be to open it up full throttle.

Oh dear, there appears to be a rapid increase in the rate of positive comments here. I knew we were opening the floor too early!

Don't forget to set your clocks ahead an hour tomorrow night, everyone.

Moonlight savings time I think.

PirateBoy - I thought about your post last evening when you brought to everyone's attention the hero 'idiot' who paid like 7 million for Curt Kobain's guitar. I have searched around and found the hero who bought it. For some reason, He thought He paid 7 million for Kurt's acoustic guitar when He got an electric one. I had a bid in for the shotgun, but go blown away in the confusion when someone asked, "why did you come as you are?"

What would happen if there were no hypothetical questions?

And the loudspeaker spoke up and said..
And the loudspeaker spoke up and said..
"Give up! Give up!"

JB--There is a pill for that.

Hypothetically speaking, what if there was only one hypothetical question, and all the rest were just open thread distractions?

I have a suggestion for Saturday:vile puns!

A Southern belle, having moved to a big city in the north, visits a stationary store and asks for some rotten pepper. The owner tells her that he doesn't carry that sort of thing and directs her to the nearest grocery store. She thanks him and is about to leave; but then he asks, "If you don't mind the question, why do you specifically want rotten pepper?" "To raght home on."

...two Southern belles are sitting on a park bench, when SB1 reaches for her ss thermos. SB2 asks: "OMG, what is that shiney thing? I love shiney things." SB1 responds: "It's a thermos." SB2 says: "What's a thermos?" SB1 says: "It keeps hot things hot, & cold things cold." SB2 asks: "So, what's in it now?" SB1 responds: "Chicken soup & a popsicle."

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