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June 28, 2020

AS THIS BLOG HAS BEEN SAYING FOR DECADES

From Ketchup to Pineapples: The Food That Should Never Be Kept in a Fridge

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

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Do NOT put fresh tomatoes in the refrigerator. It kills the flavor. (If there is any to begin with)

..and never put all the other foods not on the list in the fridge unless it's plugged in (also, remember to put the extra food back into the fridge, but only if it's plugged in). In addition, reading this blog in the middle of the night by the light of an open fridge door is not recommended, even if the a/c is out and it's really hot.

Mammoth meat keeps better if stored deep under the tundra for 10,000 years.

Put your leftover pineapple on a pizza and you won't have to worry about it. *ducks*

@Judy, REAL fresh tomatoes have flavor. As Garrison Keillor has noted, store-bought tomatoes that are strip-mined in Texas and packed like so many styrofoam cubes are another matter.

Fresh eggs, such as those you find under an actual chicken, do not have to be refrigerated. I agree with Judy and would also like to add you shouldn't put fresh peaches in the fridge either.

In Poland, the eggs are sold unwashed, and thus keep better eliminating the need for refrigeration. Also, never put fresh peaches under a chicken unless you prefer them warm or you're trying to confuse her.

Also, it best to keep your iguana in your home freezer, between the mastadon & the mammoth, so the mammoth's butter cup stuffing retains it's lovely color.

So Ted Bundy asks Jeffrey Dahmer, "you got any ice cream in the freezer?"

"Nah, just Ben and Jerry."

Oh come on, have a heart and live a little.

"unspeakable things with toothbrushes"...Oh the humanity!

...so a GA farmer is going door to door selling this seasons abudant crop of luscious peaches and as he approaches the next front door it opens and through the screen door he spies a most delicate Georgia peach of a much different variety. When his ability to speak returns he asks the negligee clad maiden if she might have an interst in his peaches. She responds while fondling her pert and ample breasts cooing: "Are they round, and firm, like these?" "Yes" he meekly replies. "And are they as plump, fuzzy, and juicey as this?" And as she rubs her nether regions, the farmer sits down and begins to sob uncontrollably. Shocked by his reaction the beautiful young woman sits down be side him and offers comfort, to which he replies: "I've got six hungry kids back home, who need shoes, my wife left us last month, and the only money I have is what I can get from these peaches." Don't worry", she purrs", "your wife will return, don't cry." to which the farmer responds: "Oh, it's not that, it's because I just realized I'm gonna screw away another bushel of peaches!"

@man tom - *simultaneous groan and snork*

I was at a friend's house once and she asked if I wanted ketchup for my food. She'd been keeping it in the cupboard. When I saw it I politely declined. It was the color of barbecue sauce. Sorry, but ketchup should be red, not brown.

When I was a kid my mom kept jelly and jam in the cupboard. I guess if you consume it quickly enough it won't kill you.

The Roswell space aliens have what they call a "stasis" chamber that supposedly keeps any organic substance in the exact state it is in when placed there,indefinitely. Ice cream can be stored alongside milk, ETC.
They have a small one in the kitchen and a rather large one in the basement. No one here in Geezer Acres wants to even venture a guess what they keep in that basement stasis chamber.

What foods do you keep under a pyramid, then? (Only fellow riders on the geezer bus will likely understand.)

I see no open thread and just hope all is well in the Barry household this evening.

My aunt lived on a farm so rurally located the family rarely went to a grocery store. When they did my aunt would buy and freeze many 'Loaves of Privilege' or as we call it today 'white bread'. They had cattle they milked, too. Or as we call it today, the unfair making of the "the entitlement drink."

Thanks in advance.

...Still quiet on the Blog front, but we all know to keep them sharp, under the pyramid is the only place to keep your razor blades.

@ Prairie Cynic -
When I found that my pyramid would not sharpen my razor blades I made it into an aquarium.
Weeks later I was stuck out of town due to bad weather for several days.
Expecting to find only 'floater' in my improvised fish tank, I instead found all my fish fat and healthy. Also the jar of fish food was only one quarter full even though I had just bought before my trip.
No one else has access to my house and a inspection showed all doors and windows where firmly secured and locked!
And no, I don't live in or near Roswell.

...so if you keep your razor blades under a pyramid, as a thank-you, they will feed your fish if you're away?

Also Cheetos.
Don't put Cheetos in the fridge.

Posted this elsewhere but, July 25th is National Wine & Cheese Day

I have tasted ketchup that has gone bad. (2x) It tasted like a stale beer with ketchup in it. It had bubbles in it (like a beer). The one time it was brownish. This happened at a restaurant that left the ketchup bottles on the table. It was not good.

So yes, while I agree that ketchup can keep for a (undetermined) while at room temperature, it eventually goes bad. And when it goes bad, it is disgusting and useless. When it is not bad, it is the nectar of the gods. So it's in the fridge for me.

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