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June 10, 2020

WEDNESDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

Feel free to comment on the theme in the comments section.

(No, we don't know what the theme is. Do we have to do everything?)

AND IN SPORTS

According to a criminal complaint filed with the Milwaukee County Circuit Court Tuesday, 40-year-old Keyon Lambert broke into the Brewers' baseball stadium and got into a tractor, which he used to tear up the turf and dig holes in an attempt to "write his name in cursive with the tractor tires."

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

MAYBE THAT'S WHY IT'S RARE

Australia's rare, elusive night parrot may not see that well in the dark

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

THE WAY 2020 IS GOING, IT'LL CRASH INTO THE EARTH

Saturn's moon Titan is rapidly migrating away from the planet

(Thanks Le Petomane)

SPOTTED IN THIS BLOG'S NEIGHBORHOOD

The little furred bastards are working with the birds.

20200604_165930 (1)

SEND THIS MAN TO WASHINGTON

Taipei City councilor busts 53 chopsticks with buttocks after losing bet on Han recall

(Thanks to Bart King, author of Dad Jokes: That's How Eye Roll, available at bookstores everywhere)

TIME FOR A CELEBRITY-STUDDED BENEFIT CONCERT

You may know it as a birthday party hot spot, but Chuck E. Cheese's has over 610 locations across 47 states. Unfortunately, the CEC Entertainment company that owns Chuck E. Cheese is over $900 million in debt.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

YOU OF COURSE KNOW WHAT STATE WILTON MANORS IS IN

Porn actor running for office in Wilton Manors

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

(HUDSON, Ohio) — NEWS: Nuova Vita Corporation is excited to announce the launch of the first No HandL Portion PadL with the Touchless Pizza Border.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

STEER CLEAR OF THE DEEP FAT FRYER

Russian chefs in naked lockdown protest after virus strips them of income

(Thanks to Ralph)

ATTENTION, TOLL-BOOTH ATTENDANTS:

Frederic Desnard, who worked as a manager at a Parisian perfumery until 2015, sued his former employer because his job was so boring that it made him depressed and forced him to quit. He recently won the trial and a $45,000 compensation.

(Thanks to Ralph)

THEY ARE TOYING WITH US

While the plan initially works, the squirrel then climbs up the chair and jumps onto the woman. This causes her to scream and jump out of the pool, knocking the small animal back into the water.

(Thanks to Let Petomane, Rod Nunley, John Lobert, Ranald Adams and Emily, Leslie and w)

HE WILL TOUR WITH THE STONES

The Dalai Lama to release 1st album in July

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger, who says "Just so long as he doesn't sing 'Copacabana.'")

NOT WHEN THE OTHER PARTY FAILS TO NOTICE

Playing ‘Hard To Get’ Really Works, Study Confirms

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

 
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