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June 04, 2020

THURSDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

Tonight's theme is: Favorite recipes.

One of this blog's favorite recipes is Peanut Butter on Toast. Here's our secret recipe:

  1. Get some toast. (A good source for this is your toaster.)
  2. Put peanut butter on it.

   Serves: you.

If you don't have any toast -- or even if you do have toast, but you don't want to waste any time -- you can just eat the peanut butter with a spoon. If you don't have a spoon, you can use your finger. We imagine you could even use somebody else's finger, if the two of you are close. The key thing is the peanut butter.

SEND THIS MAN TO WASHINGTON

“Can you guys get off the lawn please?” the man yelled, interrupting Mr Morrison mid-sentence.

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN SPORTS

With the popular event cancelled, Master of Cheese Jem Wakeman, carried out a symbolic cheese roll down the empty hill at 5.30am this morning.

(Thanks to Ralph)

GUYS IN ACTION

Guy Insists His Little Trailer Is Large Enough For Full Loader Bucket Of Soil

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE

France to transform surplus wine into hand sanitiser

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "The question here is what is "surplus wine?" No one in Geezer Acres has ever heard of it.")

WORRIED? US? HA.

An asteroid as big as the Empire State Building is hurtling toward Earth and is expected to whiz by Saturday in a relative close call, according to reports.

(Thanks to many people, including Not My Usual Alias, who says “I wouldn't mind a glancing blow right about now.”)

WE WISH THIS WERE A JOKE

Dear Blog –

Mr. Barry can save considerable time but possibly be compensated at his usual rate by using the following items, which are provided here at no charge, for his 2020 Year in Review.

January – January sucked.

February – February sucked.

March – March sucked.

April – April really sucked.

May – May sucked, at the end in sadness.

June – June sucked.

July – July sucked.

August – August sucked.

September – September sucked.

October – October sucked.

November – November sucked.

December – Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and Keen Kwanza.  December sucked.

Kindly,

George Struve

BOLO

Niagara Falls officials searching for raccoons handed out to locals outside a 7-Eleven

(Thanks to Tinkerbell)

THE NEWS FROM INDIA

Cobras are quick. Monkeys are quicker.

CANADA DESCENDS DEEPER INTO ANARCHY

Man goes berserk in Colwood, B.C., after drive-thru forgets mustard on burger

(Thanks to Ralph and The Perts) (They opened for Dion and the Belmonts)

'LET ME LAY IT BARE, THE RAILWAY IS NOT A PLACE TO SUNBATHE'

Nude sunbather mistaken for dead body near railway line in Essex

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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