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May 22, 2020

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Seagull flies into woman’s house and vomits on her kitchen counter

This has been The News From Abroad.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

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Trash birds, among the most obnoxious creatures on earth. When I lived in Galveston, I don't know how many times I would ride my bike on the seawall and have to wash the gull leavings off my back afterwards.

True story: Last summer a large hawk flew right through the screen on the porch door and landed on the open laptop. Yes, it's true my laptop got hawked, not that there's anything wrong with that.

I once heard that alka-seltzer tablets cure all sorts of headaches (as in (POOF!),a cloud of feathers, and the seagull disappeared. (Please, please, don't try this at home) ...(Good-lord I hope this quarantine ends soon.)

Puking birds (including buzzards) were a common hazard when my mother-in-law invited people over for her special neck bone soup. The smarter avians would stay circling over her house as a warning that this would be a good day to have car trouble.

That seagull took in a little too much Old Crow.

If you want do something exciting, go down to the beach (where lots of birds are) with a loaf of bread. Then tear small pieces off of the bread and toss them into the air. Takes about a second or so for the birds to find you, then watch out!

Steverino, I believe you left out the final word in your comment, so here it is, "INCOMING!!!" (& you are very welcome, sir!)

Steverino, when I lived in Galveston, the city government actually told people not to toss them Cheetos and Doritos, because the gulls were starting to turn up overweight and with cancer.

Made me want to hijack a Frito-Lay truck and take it to the beach.

Or just get a cat.

Here in Indiana, our seagulls hang out at the local Walmart. One pastime I've observed is a car (older) rushing thru the flock and scattering them. I don't think I've seen a Mercedes or Lexus do this.

LeDud--One thing our neighbor learned when we lived in Texas was to avoid hitting a buzzard. He had one crash through his windshield at 70MPH and wind up in the back seat. He said it took him less that 10 seconds to realize what those birds feed on. No detail shop ever managed to get all of the stench out of his Jeep and eventually he sold it to someone who wasn't bothered by the lingering smell of splattered buzzard.

FYI: To ornithologists, there is no such bird as a "seagull." There are various kinds of gulls, many of which may live inland. This appears to be a Common Gull (Larus canus), which is as likely to be found at garbage dumps as the sea in the winter.

Birds regurgitate their crop (gizzard) contents when they are stressed (like being chased), in order to lighten their load for more mobility. If they have been feeding on garbage, that contents can be messy.

Le Petomane: Even worse is a condition called sour crop, where the contents ferments and expands and will not naturally go either way. I have a friend who used to work in wildlife rehabilitation who had to deal with forcing regurgitation in vultures. You did NOT treat sick vultures inside the building. They were taken to the far end of the parking lot, turned upside down, and massaged and aspirated. They did not appreciate the procedure. Neither did she, even after she showered and changed scrubs.

She now works as a vet tech/lab tech supervisor for a med school, in charge of multiple species including farm animals, but no vultures.

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