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May 06, 2020


Continuing last night's theme of annoyances, let's discuss acts of rudeness that really tick you off.

For example, this blog cannot stand people who insist on standing at sporting events and concerts when everyone around them -- especially behind them -- is sitting. We get that there are moments -- exciting plays, certain songs -- when many people become excited and spontaneously choose to stand. We get that there are some events where everybody stands all the time. Great! Stand away! But if you (or you and your small group of friends) are the ONLY person(s) standing, and the people behind you either have to repeatedly ask you to sit, or are forced to stand so that they can see, thus forcing the people behind them to stand, you are not proving that you're the One True Fan. You're proving that you -- pardon this blog's French -- are an asshole.

Over to you, commenters. Please be polite.


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Person asks me a question. I start to answer the question. Twelve words in, person walks away, looks at phone, or -- this really gets me -- asks another, unrelated question.

What are you doing person? I really want to understand-...

Ooh! Something shiny!

I was thinking of mentioning this as an annoyance, but I guess it will qualify as rudeness. When I am out riding my bicycle, I give a friendly wave to bicyclists coming from the other direction. Most of them return the wave, but some of them don't, and the majority of those who don't appear to be "serious" bikers, as evidenced by their clothing, helmets and/or expensive bikes. Clearly they can't lower themselves to wave to people who they perceive as not being on their level. Perhaps this is one of the reasons Stephan Pastis created Jef the Cyclist for Pearls before Swine.

I was not there, no one was there at the office, so a guy pulled his SUV into my parking lot and parked right up close to the building. I was napping at home and when I awoke I saw the SUV parked up against my building on my live online surveillance cameras at my desk. I played back the recording and watched as the guy got out, raised the hood, and partially disassembled his carburation system unhooking the gas line and letting gasoline run into a huge pile spilling over across several parking spaces. He called someone to pick him up, left a note on his dashboard, and drove away with his ride.

I jumped into action, drove to the office and when I opened my door the overwhelming smell of gasoline was unmistakable. I guarded the parking lot hoping no bicyclist or passer-byer would come by and toss a cigarette but on the ground. His note on the dashboad which was located just feet from my sign warning, Private Parking, Violaters will be towed, read, 'I will be back later with a smiley face drawn on the note.

I called Tows R' Russ and had the car towed away. I told the driver to be careful and not catch anything on fire. I hate rude people who pay no attention to No Parking signs and do stuff like this. Don't be rude and park where the spot is clearly marked, NO PARKING.

I'm 6'4" and after 30+ years of driving 30k-50k miles a year as a sales rep, have developed degenerative disc disease. I have to get up a couple times per hour to alleviate back pain but always try to be conscious of others around me. If situationally appropriate, I will give others a heads-up to minimize any disruption to the sight lines of others. I try to get seated in a back row whenever possible.

In airplanes, I likewise give a courtesy heads up to anyone seated behind me that I will need to recline my seat a little. It's absolute torture as a tall person, to have to squeeze into the ever decreasing space and seats on a plane.

A real annoyance emanates from people who overload the amount of perfume, cologne or aftershave lotion in close quarters. I purchase fragrance free toiletries and laundry detergents as many people have allergies exacerbated by overpowering scents and fragrances. People should only exacerbate in the privacy of their homes.

People at formal concerts such as a symphony orchestra who arrive late (and of course their seats are farthest from the aisle), talk with their seatmates, drop their drink glasses, loudly rustle pages of their programs, cough up a lung, or take a full five minutes to unwrap a piece of hard candy because they think they're being quiet about it. Those last two of course are always at a quiet, emotional section of the music.

Dave, I think the quarantine is getting to you. And me. May I suggest that tomorrow's topic be "simple joys you've discovered during the sheltering."

I think this is an instance of being rude, and disrespectful, but mind you lady who did this to me was *beautiful*.

"Would you like to make a payment today?"

Marilyn Monroe pulls out her checkbook and pen.

"I have one check and my baby needs diapers."

Needless to say, I just took in her considerable radiance, she glowed ok, and didn't collect. Rude?

*A sidenote to this *beautiful* creature, ok I probably appear a little overbearing going on about the woman of my dreams. She had the god-most UGLY boyfriend I have ever seen in my life. He was dirty, a biker, greasy hair, green mold on his teeth, was short and fat and really should have never gone out in public without a paper bag worn to cover his head. But, anyway this happened more than 30 years ago. I still dream about her. I still have nightmares thinking of him. Sometimes I wake up screaming in fear while feeling like I'm in love.

People who leave shopping carts in the middle of a parking spot.

Ok rude.

This woman is a different woman than the one mentioned earlier. But she also was a VERY attractive woman. Whew.

"Maybe we could go some where, get together you know, after you close up?"

"man tom - I only date married men."

What the hell is that!

Yes! I am 100% with Dave on the Concert @ssholes. If they don't happen to know a song, they feel free to talk extra loud to make sure their equally @ssholey friends can hear them.

Also, what MGZ said about shopping carts. Someone in our apartment building "borrowed" one of the building's shopping carts the other day, presumably to bring his.her groceries upstairs, but apparently it was just Too. Much. F#cking. Trouble. to bring it back to the basement where it came from, so the putz just put it in the elevator and left it as a Surprise! for whoever happened by next.

How about people who bring their dog, cat, pig, squirrel, bird, rat, mouse, duck, chicken,goat, etc. into a store?

People who park in front of the store/market (in the no-parking, pickup or fire zone) because they "only need a couple of items" only to return to their vehicle with a shopping full of stuff.
In the store;
people who 'shop' while talking on their cell phone. Either idle chatter or calling out every variation of each product on their list. (Ethel you wrote can of beans, they got navy, pinto, lama ETC).

People who loudly use cell phones while dining in public drive me crazy. The payphones are located by the bathroom for a reason, people!

A few years ago, right before this quarantine started, some guy had his cellphone and speakerphone on while he ate his dinner at my local Farmer Brothers. He was also apparently hard of hearing, and the sound of his conversation was literally bouncing off the walls.

When he started exchanging slightly risque jokes, I was ever so tempted to smash his phone with a large rock.....

What Dave said.

AMEN to everyone's comments but especially Dave's and pharmaross's.

While this may sound petty, and it probably is, I get quite agitated when someone that would have happily spit on me in a previous era says "Thank you for your service." I'm sure their comment is purely reflexive like a Bless You after a sneeze. I feel better now. Thank you for your consideration.

PirateBoy I would have helped you.
One thing that annoys me more than anything else is to be on the phone with someone and then all of a sudden they're talking to someone else. It can be a cashier they've suddenly remembered after walking by them at the county fair three years ago or a long lost friend from their high school days. I'm still talking away because I have no idea their attention is elsewhere. Then when they realize I'm still on the phone they'll ask me to repeat what I just said. That's when I usually just hang up.

Sadly, farting in their general direction no longer has the effect it used to.

Rudeness in my opinion is defined by those drivers who have the worst taste in music and feel the need to share it as loudly as possible. Additionally, the bass setting on their car stereos is on "stun," so that when they pull up next to me at the stoplight, it feels like a 5.2 earthquake.

In complete agreement about concert etiquette, no matter what type of show. But Dave left out the part that when some people at a concert cannot see because of others standing in front of them, they then stand on their seats, making others behind them have to stand on their seats, and before you know it, everyone in the audience has to stand on their flimsy plastic seats. I have tried to point out that if everyone just sat in their seats, they would have the exact same view and be a lot more comfortable, but people who could hear me just gave me strange looks. Also in the 70’s (when I had 10th row seats to see Eric Clapton at the Spectrum but some 6’ 5”, 270 lb. [bad word] directly in front of me took his good old sweet time taking photos of Slowhand) most concert goers were so, uh, “relaxed” they could not even stand if they wanted to. Those were the days. Come to think of it, I did see Jeff Beck a couple of years ago, and people actually sat for the whole concert for the first time in ages, although I never saw so many grey ponytails in my life, and it seemed as if a quarter of the audience were using walkers or other ambulatory assistive devices.

Tomorrow’s night’s suggested Old Farts nostalgia theme: The first record you ever bought. (Shoplifting doesn’t count).

I could characterize this as rude on behalf of the website. And I never disable my Ad Blocker, or agree to their terms, etc. I do no view a lot of the posts on the blog due to this. I also use several VPN services including TOR browser, which in my opinion blocks my IP very well. Also use Ghostery. I don't know who's more rude. I'll say the idiots who play computer with their 'rude' websites. Especially Google. Are these people kidding. I know someone who never gave her email address to anyone except her family and friends. Google sends her an an email ad 'spam' and attaches a map to her home address complete with a link to google maps with her home address. Rude? Yes, Google is rude. Try DuckDuckGo.

All the folks mentioning phones reminded me of another one: people who don't listen to the two-minute phone message I just left for them, describing in detail exactly what I need and when. They just see that I called and call me back, expecting me to repeat everything I just preserved in a recording for them. *sigh*

MGZ: Last month/year/decade I attended a two hour course in "Telephone Etiquette" presented by my company's HR. One of the "Pro Timesaver Tips" they covered was to never listen to a voicemail message if you know the caller, as "the person who called you is only going to repeat the details of why they called back to you, so this tip can save you up to an hour per day! (tee-hee)"

As I told the 22 year old droid who "taught" the class: "Is this your first job?"

I work at a place in a fancy part of town and we attract wealthy women and make them happy by zapping them with lasers; and injecting them with botulism-based toxins and fillers.
Two years ago - a "Cannabis Education Center" moved in. Initially, they sold gummy bears and stuff. Now they are selling lots of smelly, flowering weed to anybody with a Florida dope card. Our waiting room now smells like Willie Nelson's tour bus thanks to our Canadian dope-selling neighbors. I have to fart just to freshen the place up. That is a bit annoying.

Doesn’t seem like Dave wrote this post— not his style.

People who ignore the Masks Required To Be Worn Inside this (store, restaurant, doughnut shop etc.) who then proceed to enter the establishment, sans mask, only to be denied service. They then argue with the store employee or manager, say they are being disrespected, hold up the line for other customers.

No Shoes
No Shirt
(No Mask)
No Dice!

Learn it; know it; live it. *

* Fast Times At Ridgemont High

Not specifically rude, but I forgot to mention it yesterday so I'm venting now: The next retail company's TV commercial mentioning "these uncertain times," with emotional piano music in the background, is going to result in a brick thrown through my flat screen. Just cut the crap, already.

OLD COMMERCIAL: Buy our product.
NEW COMMERCIAL: We're concerned, we care, be strong. Buy our product.

Tailgaters. Especially if there is room to pass or you’re not in the passing lane.

People who leave their shopping carts in the middle of the aisle and block traffic.

Pull over and park, dammit!

I recently read an article that ended with a comment about how we deal with the current crisis will impact how the 1920s will be remembered...

So I left a brief comment at the site, noting that I'm sure the writer had intended "the 2020s," but either made a typo or was the victim of auto-correct.

Auto-correct is annoying enough, though what's worse is when you get a lecture from (apparently) an internet troll about how uncultured and uneducated you are for not to knowing about how all the chess pieces where coming together in the 1920s and that the writer had obviously meant that era...

I was happy to later see the writer's correction (to "2020s"), though I have to admit, I wonder about the level of outrage some people display or vent toward their fellow human beings over such trivial matters, and often in the comments to some article. I have no idea what was going on in this person's life, though he seemed a sad case to me.

In general, though, I hate that the comments section for many articles has become some sort of blood-sport for certain people.

Jerks wearing T shirts with profanity on them. I saw a teenager with a T shirt with, "F*** IT" printed 6 times on the back, with big letters, at a gas station check out counter. I asked him if he ever thought of a young child learning to read, looked at his shirt, and then repeated that when he asked mom/dad what that meant. He replied, "That's my freedom of speech, man." I replied with, "Well, here's mine. You're an as****."
His teeny bopper girl friend laughed at him as they left the store.

PirateBoy, I got indigestion reading your comment. :)

wanderer's comment reminded me of a new favorite ad, where a sincere guy comes on talking about how in these tough times we all need to pull together, etc. Just when you are almost touched, he hits the pitch - he's a personal injury lawyer ready to help you out if you were in an accident!

Nice, dude.

I spend hours caring for my lawn....and then a soccer ball lands in the middle of my front yard...
What choice do I have but to yell at those lousy kids-


Barber Shop Shutdown

Barbers have disinfection training for their implements. They wear a mask and so do I, so what's the problem? I'm looking like the caveman in the Progressive insurance commercials. Open up the damn barber shops and salons for women.

My community is finally reopening our pool and heated & jetted spa this morning. After a 2 month closure, it's time to soak my aching back. The spa seats 60+ people so there's plenty of room to spread out. The CDC website states covid can't survive in chlorinated water. Hallelujah!

Funny rudeness. Hollywood mogul Sam Goldwyn had a brainstorm at midnight and called a director of his with his idea. The director lived in NYC where it was 3 a.m.. Answering the phone the groggy director asked "Sam, do you know what time it is?" He heard Goldwyn say to his wife "Bill wants to know what time it is."

People who confidently explain to me my trade and why I'm doing it wrong because they read something on the internet. It took me 45 years of experience, 6 years of college training, five years of apprenticeship, and a series of rigorous examinations in order to get here, and I'm still learning. It's ok NOT to know stuff. I don't know how to be a doctor, a writer, a diesel mechanic and so on. That's why I find and pay someone who can. That's why we pay Dave (wait, do we pay Dave?) to be a professional curmudgeon.

Peter Metrinko's story reminds me of this urban legend: A man traveling overnight in a rail car in the 1920s was severely bitten by bedbugs. He sent a complaint letter to the railroad and received a reply signed by the company president, profusely apologizing for the incident and indicating he had ordered that every rail car be fumigated. Accidentally included in the envelope was the traveler's original letter, on which the company president had scrawled "Send this SOB the bedbug letter."

Also, people who park their vehicles in such a way as they effectively block or take up more than one parking space. They park over the side line or they park so their vehicle extends back into the space in the next row. 1st prize, someone who parks so that they effectively block up to four parking spaces. These people are too selfish and lazy to be bothered parking in the back of the lot away from the other vehicles.

I solve that problem by not going to sporting events. I've no desire to mingle with the low I.Q. crowd, especially not in their preferred venue.

At my work parking lot, which is extensive, we have vehicles of all sizes. The super-duty extended cab extra wide pick-ups will usually park toward the middle of a row to avoid impeding the more desirable end places.
One time, there was a Toyota Highlander with driver's side tires 6-inches over the line two spaces from the end. The only thing that could have parked next to it would have been a motorcycle. Since we have security patrolling the lot all day, I grabbed a piece of notebook paper, scrawled, "REALLY?" in 2-inch letters, and placed it under the rear wiper blade. When I came back out, the car was booted. That was pretty sweet.

pharmaross: re barber shops— Masks have limited effectiveness. Without N95 protection, they only limit (not stop) aerosols, not ±100 nanometer virus particles. The closer you are to someone, the greater the risk.

Even multilayer surgical masks are ineffective at blocking virus particles.

Everyone is frustrated by this situation. I haven't been farther than my mailbox since March 18th. The question for the alternative, however, is what level of death and permanent injury are we willing to accept, and how much are we willing to let people risk the lives and health of others??

The virus has mutated into a more contagious form, still transmissible by asymptomatic people, including barbers or clients. And people who do show symptoms often do not completely recover, sustaining multiple organ damage.

Here in NH. the Governor is now allowing haircuts, with restrictions. I disagree with the decision. A haircut is not worth someone's life or permanent injury.

I have an N95 mask and for barbers or stylists the same should be required. The Prez was at the N95 Honeywell factory in Phoenix the other day. Supposedly there are millions of N95s being cranked out for healthcare providers. Now let's have some available to the barbers, salons and other entities that have close contact and interface with the public (like the Nevada brothels) and store cashiers, etc..

If you are in the line at the grocery store, please move when it moves. Don't look at the items along the side if it means you are allowing 18 ft of space between you and the customer in front of you instead of just six. Don't get upset when I therefore assume you are not in line and step around you.

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