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May 05, 2020

TUESDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

Do you have an Amazon Alexa? The kind with a screen? If so, does it annoy you that Alexa's screen is constantly displaying messages asking if you want to hear a joke, or suggesting that you try something you have no desire to try, like baking cauliflower brownies, or making a canoe out of popsicle sticks? And have you tried to figure out how to turn off this alleged "feature," which is called "Things To Try," and found that YOU CANNOT TURN IT OFF? And do you find this to be extremely annoying and presumptuous on the part of Amazon? Well this blog does. This blog wishes it could secretly install a hidden loudspeaker in Jeffrey Bezo's mansion and from time to time -- for example, 3:14 a.m. -- urge Jeffrey, in a booming voice, to try things -- this is a family blog, so we will not elaborate on the specific things -- until Jeffrey allows consumers to turn off Alexa's "Things To Try" feature.

Which leads us to tonight's theme: Little things that annoy you. (No politics, please.)

NOTE: Before commenters point it out, I'm already aware that Alexa is an Evil Spying Eavesdropping Machine, and that I should just get rid of it. But I don't want to, because I like many of the things it can do, and I don't care if Jeff Bezos or the Russians observe me in the kitchen. Mainly what they would learn is that if there are Cheez-Its in the kitchen, I will find them.

HE WILL BE ISSUED TWO FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Rapid City man charged with DUI after running over himself

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CORNWALL: THE AUSTRALIA OF ENGLAND

Melanie Price and her family had to flee their home after discovering deadly spiders in their bananas from Tesco

Two Key Excerpts:

-- The South American critters’ venom is the deadliest in the world — and its bite can also cause an erection lasting up to four hours.

-- "It was a hard 48 hours, I can assure you.”

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

FRESH UNDERWEAR AND A FLORIDA LICENSE ARE ON THE WAY

Man crashes into home, throws underwear at officers, police say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SHE ASKED IF THEIR 'HOSE IS WORKING'

Woman charged after calling 911 to have fire put out in crotch

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MORE NAKED MEN MAKING NEWS

Naked Australian Man Wrestles Giant Python to Save his Kitten

Naked Man Attacks Bus

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IN THAT CASE, SIR...

Jensen reportedly told the officers that he was naked because all his clothes were in the laundry.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HE WAS PERMITTED TO CONTINUE AFTER HE PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

A 5-Year-Old Boy Was Pulled Over While Trying To Drive To California To Buy A Lamborghini

(Thanks to pharmaross, Nancy Gill, Holland Daze, Godot 51, The Perts and Bill Hudgins)

BOLO

Louisiana police search for 'aggressive chicken'

(Thanks to The Perts and Alkali Bill)

'WELL OF COURSE I WORRIED A LITTLE, BUT I REALLY WANTED TO EAT FRIED EGGS'

Crazy, heartless wife stars in Japanese textbook’s shocking conversation for English learners

(Thanks to Ralph)

HE HAD HIS REASONS

Scots driver baffled by bizarre lockdown scene as half-naked man staggers down street carrying a door

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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