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May 02, 2020

SATURDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

The theme tonight is: comments. Feel free to put them in the comments section.

WE'RE GUESSING IT'S THE RUSSIANS TRYING TO STIR UP TROUBLE

A helicopter dropped rolls of toilet paper onto a home in Utah and it’s not clear why

(Thanks to pharmaross)

LAND OF THE FREE, BABY

N. Carolina Court: Middle Finger Didn't Warrant Traffic Stop

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS IS A CARL HIAASEN NOVEL, RIGHT?

A Florida Woman is facing a felony charge after a video call with her imprisoned boyfriend turned very raunchy, prompting a criminal probe helmed by an investigator identified in court records as “Detective Assmann.”

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT'S A CLOSED WORLD AFTER ALL

Man caught camping on Disney’s Discovery Island says it was ‘tropical paradise'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE IN CANADA

Alligator spotted in Brampton was a beaver: police

(Thanks to n. n., who says "The psychological effects of self-isolation are spreading.")

WE'RE FINALLY GETTING BACK TO NORMAL

Barrel filled with 90 pounds of marijuana washes up in Florida

(Thanks to Bob Brogan, who says "round grouper")

SOMETHING WE HAVE ALL WAITED LITERALLY DECADES TO SEE

First Trailer For Lifetime’s Lorena Bobbitt Movie Features Her Throwing The Penis Out Of The Car Window

(Thanks to pharmaross)

TOTALLY ASKING FOR IT

Arnold man allegedly punctures tire on car, claiming it made sexual advances toward him

(Thanks to Ralph)

DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY WERE A GREAT OPENING ACT FOR THE TROGGS

Toilet-dwelling lizard inconveniences Bristol man

(Thanks to Ralph)

CSI: THE PLAGUE

A U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration agent and a telecommunications specialist are accused of stealing personal protective equipment, toilet paper and other supplies from an agency warehouse in Florida amid shortages caused by the coronavirus pandemic, law enforcement officials told The Associated Press.

(Thanks to pharmaross and Peter Metrinko, who says "Remember the good old days, when corrupt DEA agents got involved with gun running and stealing drugs?" Peter also suggests this great Chuck Berry song as a good self-isolation anthem.)

APPARENTLY SHE DOES NOT HAVE ACCESS TO JIGSAW PUZZLES

Woman who stabbed boyfriend in the hand told police 'isolation is getting to me'

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

JUST WHEN YOU THINK THE INTERNET CANNOT GET ANY STUPIDER...

TikTok users are peeing in their pants for the aptly named "pee your pants challenge."

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

 
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