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April 09, 2020

APRIL THE SOMETHINGTH OPEN THREAD

We welcome your thoughts.

Also: Should we keep the open threads going? Are people getting bored with them? Are people making comments purely out of pity? WE DON'T WANT PITY COMMENTS, DAMMIT.

Why yes, we have commenced cocktail hour. Why do you ask?

SUGAR CANE WAS INVOLVED

Man has penis bitten in roadside attack

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

A top German doctor recommends whiskey to protect against COVID-19

(Thanks to John Gregg)

WE ALREADY KNOW WHY: THE FIRST TWO WORDS IN THE HEADLINE

Florida woman put 400 Easter eggs filled with porn in mailboxes, deputies say. Here’s why

(Thanks to pharmaross)

DEPARTMENT OF HEADLINES THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ZERO SENSE THREE MONTHS AGO

Michigan man wearing thong underwear as coronavirus mask assaults man who mocked him

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'WHERE THE **** ARE YOU GOING?'

Italian mayor uses drones to scream profanities at residents ignoring lockdown

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert)

RULES ARE RULES

A group of sunbathing nudists in the Czech Republic were recently told they needed to cover up, just not in the way that most would expect. While they were completely free to remain nude, local ordinances required that they keep their mouths covered due to the global coronavirus outbreak.

(Thanks to Phil Shortell, Maryann and pharmaross)

ATTENTION BORED FLORIDA PEOPLE LOOKING FOR A FUN ACTIVITY:

Here you go:

Bingo-remodeled-1

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT'S STARTING, PEOPLE

From Jim Esten:

Spatula Jim Estin

Don't say this blog didn't warn you.

 
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